Famous Last Words- End of Round 1

Can it be? In the final week of the first round of Famous Last Words, have I finally found a quote that stumped even the most stout-hearted of contestants? It would seem so, as for the first time in the admittedly short history of the game, none of you were able to identify last week's quote.


So... what's your most uncomfortable movie? Is it Salo? Irreversible? Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles? For me, it would have to be Arnaud Desplechin's mammoth 1996 film My Sex Life (or, How I Got Into An Argument), the source of last week's quote. It's not that anything jaw-droppingly awful happens in the course of the film, but simply the fact that it hits home with me like no other film does. For the benefit of those who haven't seen it, My Sex Life tells the story of Paul, played by the great Matthieu Amalric, a nebbishy intellectual who is at a personal and professional impasse in his life at the age of- wait for it- 29. Yikes. Desplechin is one of my favorite contemporary filmmakers, and Amalric one of the most fascinating actors working today, and both do spectacular work here. Time and again Desplechin and Amalric capture the character and his mindset in almost painful detail. Making it a little easier to take is the presence of a wide variety of lovely women- the immensely lovable Emmanuelle Devos (never before or since have I wanted to cuddle so much with a movie character), the sphinx-like Marianne Denicourt, the teasing charms of Jeanne Balibar, the warm yet regal Chiara Mastroianni, even a nude scene from the luscious young Marion Cotillard. My Sex Life... is a towering film, and I might be inclined to declare it a masterpiece if I could ever bring myself to watch it all the way through again.

And with that, I'm proud to announce the winner of the inaugural round of Famous Last Words... Mr. Victor Morton, who fended off some formidable competition by identifying an impressive 11 out of 12 quotations. Victor will be receiving a $20 dollar gift card from the Criterion Store, as well as my respect for taking part in this contest from the beginning. And thank you to all of the players, who've made this a great first round.

Alas, all good things must come to an end, and I'm a little sad to announce that this is the last appearance of Famous Last Words on this blog. But never fear- starting early in 2008, I'll be taking the game over to Screengrab, where hopefully I'll be able to draw a larger group of players. Nothing like a little competition, eh Victor? More details will be announced over there when the time comes, so keep your eyes peeled.

Thanks again, everyone. Hope you will visit every so often, even though you can't win anything.

Famous Last Words- Round 1, Week 12

The Italian Job wasn't the first classic Michael Caine film to get a Hollywood remake- that would be Get Carter- and it certainly wasn't the last. But while the 2003 version was a pretty OK entertainment, it kind of missed the point of the original movie. Sure, they kept the main character's name (inexplicably, as who can buy Marky Mark as a Charlie Croker?) and of course the famous Mini Coopers, but otherwise it bears little resemblance to the 1969 model. Most of the original isn't an action movie at all, but a showcase for that singular brand of British humor, with Noel Coward as the world's most erudite prisoner, Benny Hill doing his Benny Hill thing ("I like 'em biiiiiiiiiiig!"), and plenty of potshots at Italians (why Italians? Exactly). All this plus Caine at perhaps his most suave, and of course the legendary chase scene, which somehow manages to be even more effective than the remake. More clever, better-shot, all that. Then there's the awesome ending, which I wouldn't dream of spoiling if you've never seen the movie.

And so begins our final week of our first round of Famous Last Words. For the closing quote of the round, I've challenged myself to find a quote that was a little more difficult. In addition, the quote I've selected has an added significance that I'll explain when the time comes. For now, here's the quote:

"The old Paul was dead. He did not live for naught."

Hint: the Paul in question is not McCartney. Other than that, you're on your own. Submit your fateful guesses to me at this e-Mail address by Saturday night at 11:59 PM. But remember, choose wisely. See you next week!

Famous Last Words- Round 1, Week 11

Of all the classic films that fall into the noir category, the grimiest would have to be Edgar G. Ulmer's 1945 masterpiece Detour. Shot for nothing with a pair of nobody stars, the movie makes no bones about its B-movie origins. Yet it works magnificently, because of how vividly it used perhaps the most archetypal noir trope of all- a man who gets ensnared in the web of the wrong sort of woman. Tom Neal would never be mistaken for a master thespian, but he makes the role work because unlike the big Hollywood stars he actually felt like a low-down sucker, the kind who would get stuck on a bad-news dame.

Neal never achieved large-scale movie stardom, but his life was the stuff of Hollywood legend. A trained prizefighter and graduate of Northwestern and Harvard Law School, Neal starred in a series of Republic serials before appearing opposite his Detour costar Ann Savage in five films in total. He also dated famously troubled starlet Barbara Payton, over whom he came to blows with her other boyfriend, actor Franchot Tone. Sadly, the final line of Detour ended up coming true for Neal in real life as well as in the film. Fate put the finger on Neal twenty years after he starred in the film, when he shot his wife in the back of the head and was convicted of manslaughter. Savage's fate was somewhat happier- six decades hence, she starred in Guy Maddin's My Winnipeg, a word-of-mouth favorite at this year's Toronto Film Festival.

Moving on from the SHO True Hollywood Story. As with a handful of quotes I've used already, this line is common enough, but rarely something you'll hear concluding a film:

"Hang on, lads. I've got a great idea."

Name the movie. Remember, all submissions must be sent to this e-Mail address by 11:59 Saturday night. See you next week!

Famous Last Words- Round 1, Week 10

By the mid-80s, Woody Allen had mostly turned away from contemporary films in favor of light comic nostalgia pieces, and 1987's Radio Days (the source of last week's quiz) is one of his best from the period. A big part of what makes it work is its anecdotal nature, as a series of half-remembered vignettes and urban legends from the golden days of radio, like the case of the burglars who won "Name That Tune." There are a couple of narrative through-lines- the rise of a cigarette girl-turned-radio star played by Mia Farrow, the experiences of Allen (played by future Scott Evil, Seth Green)- but they don't insist on themselves. And the closing narration, spoken by Allen himself, addresses the bittersweet flip side of nostalgia- that it's at best a secondhand form of enjoyment, a pale substitute for actually being there.

In its way, this week's quote is no less philosophical:

“But one thing I don’t have to wonder about- I know. Someday a car will stop to pick me up that I never thumbed. Yes, fate or some mysterious force can put the finger on you or me, for no good reason at all.”

Name the film. Remember, submit your guesses to this e-Mail address by 11:59 PM EST on Saturday. See you next week.

Famous Last Words- Round 1, Week 9

Until now I've mostly tried to avoid quoting lines from films based on great works of literature, since even people who haven't seen the movies in question might recognize them from the books. But it appears that I've broken that rule for Martin Scorsese's adaptation of Edith Wharton's The Age of Innocence, the source of last week's quiz. For my money, it's a movie that is too often overlooked in Scorsese's filmography in favor of his grittier, more violent works. At the time of the film's release, the Merchant Ivory team was at the height of its creative powers, and some critics and audiences misinterpreted Age as Scorsese's stab at period-piece respectability. But handsome though it is, the film's voluptuous style and rigorous attention to detail are pure Scorsese, as are its passions, buried as they are under lavish costumes and regimented social manners. Time has been kind to The Age of Innocence, and I believe the film to be Scorsese's greatest masterpiece. Too few of you were able identify the film, but I'm hoping that its presence here will compel you either to give it a chance or to revisit it. It's well worth your time.

Already nine weeks into the game, and while it's far from over, I'm guessing that at least a few of you who are ahead are making plans for that $20 gift certificate from The Criterion Store that I'll be rewarding to the winner. If not, might I suggest holding on to it a few months in order to apply it to the release of one of these Bilge Ebiri- approved movies from 1987 that are getting the Criterion treatment in February?

I've never seen the Cox film, but based on what I've heard it sounds awfully intriguing.

Anyway, I realize I'm about a month ahead of schedule on this week's quote, but with the confusion of the holiday season (and the possibility of a tie-breaker round for this contest) I decided to go ahead and post it now:

“Although the truth is, with the passing of each New Year's Eve, those voices do seem to grow dimmer and dimmer.”

Name the movie. Remember, send your guesses to this e-Mail address by 11:59 Saturday night. See you next Sunday.

Famous Last Words- Round 1, Week 8

If there's anything better than a great last line, it's a great last line delivered by one of cinema's greatest voices. Yes, Orson Welles' final bit of narration in his film The Lady From Shanghai (the source of last week's quiz) is one for the ages. not least because it was his bittersweet kiss-off to the film's leading lady, Rita Hayworth, to whom he was married. Even after cropping her lush red hair and dying it platinum blonde, Hayworth remained undeniably luscious in the role, and it's possible that only a soon-to-be ex-husband could have possibly tried to forget her. Lady isn't one of Welles' masterpieces, but it's full of stunning moments, especially the famed hall-of-mirrors finale. I just missed being able to see it on the big screen in Cleveland a few years ago- I moved up there just after they screened it- and I'd love to see it projected larger than life.

By contrast, the film from which the following final line was taken is a masterpiece, one that deserves much more love than it gets:

“Just... say I’m old-fashioned. That should be enough. Go on, go on.”

Name the film. Send your guesses to this e-Mail address by 11:59 Saturday night. Go on, go on.

Famous Last Words- Round 1, Week 7

For many purists, the only true Zatoichi was Shintaro Katsu, who portrayed the legendary warrior in over two dozen films and a television series. So when Takeshi Kitano decided to revisit the character, there were quite a few who denounced the film sight unseen. However, Kitano's Zatoichi (released in the U.S. as The Blind Swordsman: Zatoichi and the source of last week's quiz) is a blast in its own right. Kitano's take on the character is a far cry from Katsu's lovable clown, with the eternal badass playing him with brutal efficiency. But while the original Zatoichi movies were merely above-average entertainment, Kitano's direction makes his film a work of art as well, with CGI blood that's both fake-looking and aesthetically gorgeous, and an affecting supporting performance by Tadanobu Asano as a sad-eyed ronin who joins up with gangsters purely for financial reasons. And in the final reel, it turns into a musical, complete with extended foot-stomping dance numbers, much to the chagrin of at least one of last week's contestants. Zatoichi didn't make much of a dent at the U.S. box office, but it was a hit with festival crowds, taking home the audience awards at both Venice and Toronto- in the latter case, surely the oddest film to win the award since Nicolas Roeg's Bad Timing in 1980.

Well, we're halfway through Round 1, and I'd say it's gone well thusfar. A handful of people are ahead of the pack, but there's still six weeks to go, plenty of time for the rest of you to catch up. So if you're just joining us or even if you're lagging behind the leaders, you could still potentially win. Even if you're not sure, don't be afraid to guess. Don't cost nothin'.

Now for this week's quote:

“Well, everybody is somebody’s fool. The only way to stay out of trouble is to grow old, so I guess I’ll concentrate on that. Maybe I’ll live so long that I’ll forget her. Maybe I’ll die trying.”

Sound familiar? Name the movie. E-Mail your answers to this e-Mail address by 11:59 pm Saturday. See you next Sunday.

Famous Last Words- Round 1, Week 6

Seems that I was finally able to stump most of you with last week's quotation, taken from George Miller's Lorenzo's Oil. I've been told by more than one of you that you own a copy of the film that has gone as yet unwatched. Is this because of the depressing subject matter, or its superficial resemblance to the kind of disease-of-the-week weepie that clogged network television during weekend prime time programming slots throughout the 90s? Rest assured that Lorenzo's Oil is a different breed altogether, a film too tough-minded to angle for cheap sentiment. While it acknowledges the role that love and determination can play in getting through a disease, it also shows that it also takes ingenuity and a whole lot of luck. Another thing that distinguishes it is that the fruits of the Odone's labors helped not only their son but thousands of boys throughout the world. Thanks to Miller- then best known as the director of the Mad Max trilogy and himself an M.D.- it's a highly distinguished entry in an undistinguished genre, and one of the few Hollywood melodramas of the last few decade that actually earns your tears. In my opinion, there are few 1990s Hollywood movies more unjustly underappreciated than Lorenzo's Oil, and I'm not the only one who thinks so.

For this week's quote, we'll switch gears a bit:

"Even with my eyes wide open, I can't see a thing."

Name the movie. Remember to e-Mail your answers to this address. See you next Sunday.

Famous Last Words- Round 1, Week 5

You won't get very far in a discussion of great final lines without bringing up the name Preston Sturges. The man was one of the greatest comedic minds ever to work in Hollywood, and few could wrap up a movie like he could. Hail the Conquering Hero, the source of last week's quote, was no exception, a comic gem starring Eddie Bracken as young Wilbur Truesmith- son of Marine hero "Hinky Dinky" Truesmith- who was refused military service for health reasons (chronic hay fever) only to end up having to prove his worth in other ways. Only a handful of you were able to identify the quote, which makes me think that some of you ought to bone up on your Sturges, especially if you've never treated yourself to one of his movies. Hail the Conquering Hero isn't one of his very best (personally, I'd give that honor to The Lady Eve, followed by The Miracle of Morgan's Creek) but considering that the guy had one of filmmaking's greatest winning streaks during the 1940s, you can't really go wrong with any of them.

Moving on... This week's quote- hard or easy? It's getting so I can't even tell anymore. Here it is:

“And then, one day, I'll hear my voice, and all these words I'm thinking will get outside my head.”

Submit your guesses to this address. Remember to have them in by 11:59 pm Saturday. See you next week!

Famous Last Words- Round 1, Week 4

Back in 2001, Christopher Nolan's Memento (the source of last week's quiz) was all the rage among arthouse moviegoers. We couldn't get enough of Nolan's backwards chronology and the clever tricks he and his brother/co-screenwriter Jonathan played on the audience. Buzz about the film spread even to non-movie buffs (my dad, for example) and it ended up playing at my local arthouse for nearly six consecutive months. But nobody really seems to talk about it anymore. Is it that the gimmick has worn off, or that the heyday of the "Twist Movie" has passed altogether? Either way, it was eventually supplanted as the favorite of hip moviegoers by such titles as Donnie Darko and Mulholland Dr. Still, it's nice to remember a time when the idea of a word-of-mouth independent film didn't automatically imply the words "big", "fat" and "Greek." I'll have to check it out again sometime, see if it holds up.

Now, let's take a trip in the Wayback Machine, back to a time when Hollywood could still unashamedly root for the military. Here's the quote:

“I knew the Marines could do almost anything, but I never knew they could do anything like this.”
“You’ve got no idea.”

What's the flag-waving golden oldie? Send your answers to this address by 11:59 pm Saturday. See you next week!

Famous Last Words- Round 1, Week 3

While some would debate the quality of my first week selection, The Big Lebowski, there's no getting around the fact that the source of last week's quote, Jean Renoir's Grand Illusion, is a classic. It's certainly one of the first in the genre to transcend the traditional good vs. evil formula, with Renoir's much-remarked-upon humanism making even the German officer a complicated, vulnerable person. And that cast! Jean Gabin, Marcel Dalio, Pierre Fresnay, the great Erich von Stroheim, and even a small role for L'Atalante star/Madonna muse Dita Parlo at the end of the film.

As luck would have it, Grand Illusion was DVD #1 for the Criterion Collection, and consequently the lucky winner of this round will be able to apply his or her shiny new $20 gift certificate from the Criterion Store towards the purchase of the Grand Illusion DVD if he or she so desires. However, there are also nearly 400 other available titles to choose from, as well as assorted Criterion and Janus gear. Perhaps you could purchase a Criterion baseball cap:

It's certain to impress movie lovers of a certain stripe, and confuse the non-initiated into wondering what the hell team you're rooting for. If nothing else, you'll certainly feel more sophisticated than the non-South Carolina fans who think it's funny to wear this hat:

But then, who wouldn't?

Anyway, here's your quote for this week:

"Now... where was I?"

Common enough, but at the end of the film? Remember, e-mail your answers to this address by 11:59 pm Saturday. See you next week!

Famous Last Words- Round 1, Week 2

Plenty of you were able to pick out the first week's quote, which of course was taken from the Coen brothers' cult classic The Big Lebowski. As one participant submitted, who else would have a character talking about sarsaparilla? To be precise, Sam Elliott's (not Sam Shepard, as one of you thought) enigmatic, formidably-mustachioed Stranger was often seen swigging Sioux City Sarsaparilla out of the bottle, and it must be said that the man has fine taste in beverages. As another folksy philosopher might say, gosh it's tasty.

Lebowski has amassed quite a following over the years, with its off-kilter humor, hazy plotting, and gallery of strange characters. One of things I love most about the movie is how it imagines Los Angeles- or "Loss Ang-uh-less"- as a kind of real-world Island of Misfit Toys. In the Coens' all-embracing L.A., there's always room for an unreformed hippie, a hawkish Vietnam vet, a purple-jumpsuited pederast, or even a schlubby landlord with a yen for interpretive dance. Why not a cowboy who might have just stepped off the prairie?

But look at me... I'm rambling again. Moving on- this week's Famous Last Words is actually an exchange:

“Don’t shoot- they’re in Switzerland.”
“All the better for them.”

This one should still be fairly easy for you. I hope to make them progressively more difficult as the round continues, although who knows if I'll succeed? Send your guesses to this address by 11:59 pm (Eastern Daylight Time) next Saturday night. Good luck.

Famous Last Words- Round 1, Week 1

Welcome all to the inaugural week of competition in my Famous Last Words contest. I hope you've all had a chance to survey the rules I posted previously. Here's the short version- every Sunday, I post the final line (or dialogue exchange) from a feature film, and you guess the film from which I've taken them. Please submit all guesses- educated or otherwise- to lastwordsquiz@yahoo.com before 11:59 PM next Saturday night.

Before I move on to the quote, I want to announce that I've come up with a prize for the winner of this round- a $20 gift certificate from The Criterion Store. Not extravagant I know, but I figure it's something that the people who would play this game could use. Although if the winner of the round lives outside North America, I'm sure we could come to an agreement as to a region-appropriate alternate prize.

Moving on... For this first week, I'm going with the final line of a movie I'm pretty sure most of you have seen, many more than once. Maybe it's my way of testing to see how many of you are out there, or simply a semi-gimme for the people who will be playing from the beginning. Anyway, here it is:

"Say, friend- you got any more of that good sarsaparilla?"

E-Mail your guesses to me at this address. See you next Sunday!

Famous Last Words: The Rules

For my first competitive quiz, I've decided to keep things fairly simple. Here are the ground rules.

1. Every Sunday, I post a line or a short dialogue exchange from a movie. You, in turn, will e-Mail me your guesses as to what movie I took the dialogue from. Guesses must be submitted to me in e-Mail form, to the following e-Mail address: lastwordsquiz@yahoo.com.

2. All quotes will be the final spoken lines of the film, delivered by an onscreen character or narrator. Likewise, the words must be audible. In other words, no silent films, and no onscreen text that isn't read aloud.

3. All quotes will be the final lines of the film proper. Any lines spoken in "credit cookies" or post-credits scenes won't be used. For example, the final lines of Ferris Bueller's Day Off would be "Life goes by pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it," rather than "You're still here? It's over. Go home."

4. All of the quizzes will be taken from feature-length films of more than an hour in duration. As much as I'd love to slip a Don Hertzfeldt quote in there, it's just not happening.

5. The films selected may be in any language, but I will post the quotations translated into English whenever applicable.

6. Participants may only submit one guess per quiz. If more than one guess is submitted, no points will be given for the week whether the guess is correct or incorrect.

7. Submissions must be made to the e-Mail address lastwordsquiz@yahoo.com. I will be turning off comments to each week's quiz until the answer has been posted with the next week's quiz to avoid confusion.

8. Each correct submission will be worth one point, each incorrect submission worth zero points. At the end of ten weeks, the competitor with the most points will win a prize that will be announced at a later date. If there is a tie for first place, I will run tie-breaker rounds until there is a single winner.

9. Have fun!

Famous Last Words: For Real This Time

I know that at least a few of you out there have been enjoying my weekly Famous Last Words quiz for the last month or so. Some have even tried- some successfully, some not- to guess the quotations I've posted. It's been fun, in my opinion, but thusfar nothing has been at stake. Until now, that is.

Every Sunday, I will continue to post a Famous Last Words quiz, but beginning this upcoming weekend I'll be keeping score. Over the next ten weeks, whoever correctly identifies the most quotations will win a prize. It won't be something extravagant or anything, like the 50 Years of Janus Films box set or a year's supply of Braunschweiger, but it'll definitely be something you can use. I'll announce what the prize will be on Sunday, when I post the first official quiz.

Why am I doing this, you ask? Part of it is to increase traffic around here. Nothing brings people out of the woodwork like free stuff. But I also thought it would be fun to do, and hopefully it'll be fun for you all to play.

I've created a special e-Mail address specifically for the game, so if you have any questions or thoughts about the Famous Last Words game prior to the first round, feel free to e-Mail them to me at lastwordsquiz@yahoo.com. I'll post the official rules of the game later this week.

In the meantime, let's get the word out. More people means more competition, which should mean more fun for all. See you Sunday!