My hasty, Dogtooth-heavy responses to Professor Hubert Farnsworth's Only Slightly Futuristic Holiday Movie Quiz

(Note: Response to question 13 edited on 30 December.)

1) Best Movie of 2010

2010 has seen a good number of fine movies, but none shook me quite as much as Dogtooth. Yorgos Lanthimos’ second feature chronicles the strange goings-on in a home in which the parents have barricaded their children from the outside world for their entire lives. Increasing the isolation is the parents’ skewed educational (brainwashing?) techniques, which include misrepresenting the meanings of words referring to the world outside- “the sea” is used to refer to an armchair, for example. Dogtooth is hard to watch in spots, with both the children and some cats subjected to some brutal treatment. But it’s also wholly original, with equal parts absurdism and tragedy, and a skewed vision courtesy of its young filmmaker.

2) Second-favorite Roman Polanski Movie

Chilly, innocent-seeming blondes were long a hallmark of the thriller genre, not least in the films of Alfred Hitchcock. But while most of his predecessors turned their towheaded lovelies into victims, it took Polanski to explore the frightening possibilities of these characters in Repulsion. Part of the reason why it works is because Polanski took the time to define his protagonist in terms of her sexuality- after all, if we can’t see what Carol is protecting herself from, there’s really no story here. But just as important is Catherine Deneuve’s performance as Carol, the ice queen to end all ice queens. Fresh off her star-making role in The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, Deneuve took that role’s girlish sunniness and turned it on its proverbial ear, turning Carol into a blank slate that’s little more than pent-up sexual paranoia on the verge of exploding. As a star on the rise, it was risky for Deneuve to play a character this alienating, but she’s pretty perfect, and her performance announced that she was interested in more than simply being eye candy. Also, Polanski’s direction cooks, with even the most surreal moments generating real scares because they seem to spring from Carol’s troubled mind.

3) Jason Statham or Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson


The Rock’s charming as hell, but Statham is slightly more versatile, so in terms of star power it’s probably a draw. But I’m gonna have to go with Statham here, since The Rock has yet to make a movie as pleasurable as Statham’s Crank franchise. I love those crazy-ass movies.

4) Favorite movie that could be classified as a genre hybrid

It’s a slapstick comedy! It’s a Civil War movie! It’s Buster Keaton’s The General, and it’s awesome (as I’m sure you all knew already).

5) How important is foreknowledge of a film’s production history? Should it factor into one’s reaction to a film?

Ideally, a good movie should stand on its own, and it should be judged only by what happens between the opening logos and the end credits. However, this rarely happens in real life. Sometimes, it’s good to realize the hard work that went into the film. Consider older movies such as Metropolis or the works of Keaton and Chaplin, in which the directors achieved their effects not through computers but through some ingenious tricks. But in many other cases, there’s a fine line between having a knowledge of the story behind the making of a movie and letting that knowledge color one’s perception of the movie. For instance, it’s not useful for a viewer to let the real-life activities of an actor distort their appreciation of his performance or the character he plays- that’s gossip-rag garbage, and has no place in the movie-watching process. And this obsession some people have with movie’s budgets and box office performance is pretty annoying, I have to say. In the end, it comes back to the movie itself. Does it do what it sets out to do? If it does, that really ought to be enough.

6) William Powell & Myrna Loy or Cary Grant & Irene Dunne


Grant’s one of my favorites, and I love The Awful Truth. Still, it’s hard to argue with that famous Nick and Nora chemistry, so Powell and Loy win this.

7) Best Actor of 2010



Do I really need to choose between Jesse Eisenberg in The Social Network and Edgar Ramirez in Carlos? Eisenberg, whose performances are usually best described as agreeably nebbishy, revealed a new side to his talent by playing Mark Zuckerberg as a tunnel-visionary, training his laser focus on his conception of Facebook and leaving everything else in his life in the dust. He never makes Zuckerberg likable exactly, but one can’t help but admiring him, as his tireless work for Facebook gives him a strange sort of integrity. Ramirez is equally impressive, giving a performance that spans half a dozen languages (including Arabic, which he learned for the role), and inhabiting the skin of Carlos from his early days as a hungry young revolutionary to his Sudanese exile, a bloated leftover from the Cold War. Ramirez inhabits nearly every frame of Carlos, and the film is damn near unimaginable without him.

8) Most important lesson learned from the past decade of watching movies

If you’re not getting paid to see movies, you don’t need to see anything you don’t want to see. To feel obligated to see movies you could care less about leads to bitterness and disillusionment. Better to watch a dozen movies you’re legitimately interested in than a hundred that you think might be OK. In short, watch what you want to watch.

9) Last movie seen (DVD/Blu-ray/theater)

Last movie on DVD: Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s Micmacs, or as I’ve taken to calling it, Death by Whimsy. Jeunet’s flair for visually interesting set pieces is as strong as ever, but the story isn’t compelling and the characters are fairly dull, if quirky. After about half an hour, I was pretty much worn out, which I’m guessing wasn’t Jeunet’s goal.


Last movie in theatre: James L. Brooks’ How Do You Know. Why isn’t this getting more love? Sure, it’s “messy,” but where the film’s detractors see narrative digressions, I see a unique comic voice peeking through. Brooks is in love with the possibilities of long scenes, and although these don’t exactly move the story along, they work so well unto themselves that I hardly noticed. The hospital scene may be the best scene I’ve seen this past year.

10) Most appropriate punishment for director Tom Six

To be forced to direct- but not write- a big-budget Hollywood star vehicle. The guy knows how to direct a movie, but the attention-grabbing stunts have got to go. Let’s see what he can do with a particularly hands-on star who won’t let him get away with being provocative simply to drum up hype. I’m thinking a cookie-cutter romcom starring Sandra Bullock could do the trick. Failing that, what he deserves most is to be ignored until he gets this “Human Centipede” crap out of his system.

11) Best under-the-radar movie almost no one else has had the chance to see


Jacques Rivette’s Out 1. With all the crap that’s out there on DVD, it’s shameful that this magnum opus by one of the masters of filmmaking hasn’t even gotten a VHS release. Come on, Criterion- get on this!

12) Sheree North or Angie Dickinson

Nothing against Sheree, but there’s only one Feathers, and Sheree ain’t it. Angie Dickinson in a walk.

13) Favorite nakedly autobiographical movie

Do I think that every scene of Buffalo ‘66 was taken from Vincent Gallo’s life? Of course not. I’m pretty sure Gallo never went to jail as punishment for a gambling debt. Yet the scenes involving his parents seethe with the pain of real-life experience. Gallo’s dad was a singer, and Ben Gazzara lip-synchs along with one of his old songs. And Gallo’s character’s strained-at-best relationship with his folks feels like it’s born of real wounds dating back to childhood. I don’t know if that’s the kind of answer you’re looking for, Professor, but it’s the answer you’re getting.


(added 30 December) Oh, OK... if you insist. The obvious answer here is 8 1/2, but I'd like to put in a good word for Passing Strange. Yeah, it's more of a performance film than a straight-up movie, but Spike Lee made the right choice not to adapt it for the screen, since the intimate theatre-in-the-round format works to the material's benefit. And the material is, in a word, awesome. Composer-narrator Stew mines a pivotal time in his life- his artistic awakening and extended sojourn in Amsterdam and Berlin- for genuine feeling as well as great theatre. Most surprisingly, he's able to take that most careworn crutch of the roman-a-clef, his relationship with his mother, and make it feel fresh and complex, by virtue of the complex and unresolved feelings it summons in him. Plus it's just entertaining as hell, from his spoofing of every terrible punk band that never made it out of the garage, to his hilarious toe-tapping American-in-Berlin ditty "The Black One." One of my favorite movies of 2009.

14) Movie which best evokes a specific real-life place


Paris after May ’68 is often depicted as an intellectual wonderland, and to be sure, all evidence points to the idea that it was a hotbed for thought and creativity. But where one finds genius one also finds those who aspire to it, even as they fall hopelessly short. So when I think of Parisian counterculture in the sixties and seventies, I think not of The Dreamers but rather of Jean Eustache’s The Mother and the Whore, which pulls back the curtain on the idealism of the time and reveals a world chock full of layabouts and bullshit artists. Of course, the heyday of the world couldn’t last forever, and it was curdling by the time Eustache made the film in 1973. But that he could be so clear-eyed about the shortcomings of the team even as it was still going on makes The Mother and the Whore both a great film and an invaluable warts-and-all portrait of a key period in modern French history, the last gasp of idealism before malaise set in once more.

15) Best Director of 2010

Yorgos Lanthimos, for Dogtooth. Too often, a young filmmaker seems beholden to his influences. But while Dogtooth feels superficially indebted to directors like Buñuel, Von Trier, and Haneke, Lanthimos has a vision all his own. Just as importantly, he takes some tricky material and handles it magnificently, achieving a perfect balance between absurdism, tragedy, and brutality. It’s a real achievement, and I can’t wait to see what he does next.

16) Second-favorite Farrelly Brothers Movie


Well, my favorite is easily Stuck on You- a strong contender for the most under-loved movie of the past decade, not that you asked. As for my second-favorite, I’d probably have to go with Kingpin, which is the apex of the Farrellys’ scatological period. It helps that they chose a milieu that lends itself particularly well to sleaze- the world of professional bowling, which is gaudy and low-rent enough when it’s on the level, but attains a particularly downmarket flavor whenever hustling is involved. And the actors are nothing if not committed- you can almost smell the stale smoke on Woody Harrelson’s Roy Munson, and it’s nice to see Randy Quaid in his pre-wackjob phase. Then there’s the priceless Bill Murray as “Big Ern” McCracken. This wasn’t Murray’s last straight-up comedic performance, but it feels like the last time he really tried to sell the silly stuff before he shifted into deadpan territory. Good stuff, this one.

17) Favorite holiday movie


All-singing! All-dancing! All-vamping! All-killing! I’m probably alone on this, but I think 8 Women is pretty rockin’. That it takes place at Christmas is reason enough for me to choose it here.

18) Best Actress of 2010

Disabled roles have long been awards-season catnip, but no one would call Sylvie Testud’s performance in Lourdes Oscar-bait. For one thing, it was barely released in this country, so it wouldn’t stand a chance even if it was in the Academy’s wheelhouse. But more importantly, Testud’s performance is so subtle that it’s easy to overlook what a masterful acting job she does. Testud gives a very lived-in portrayal of a quadriplegic woman who decides to tag along with a tour group visiting the titular shrine, and so completely does she inhabit the character that the disability is merely one of the things that makes her so compelling. And so convincingly does she convey the predicament of a woman who is essentially in deep free from the neck down that it’s all the more astonishing when, following a miracle, she almost without thinking reaches out and touches something she never could have before. Testud is one of the most fascinating actresses currently working, and Lourdes offers ample evidence of her acting gifts.

19) Joe Don Baker or Bo Svenson

Haven’t we already had this question? Oh well. Don’t really have a strong opinion about this one, I have to say.

20) Of those notable figures in the world of the movies who died in 2010, name the one you’ll miss the most

A world in which we have no more new Eric Rohmer films to look forward to seems almost unbearably sad.

21) Think of a movie with a notable musical score and describe what it might feel like without that accompaniment.

Alfred Hitchcock shot Psycho with his TV crew, with the goal of making it look like it took place in the workaday world instead of the world of movies. For most of the movie, the only thing giving it an uneasy atmosphere is Bernard Herrmann’s score. Try to imagine Marion running away from Phoenix with no music behind her- much of the urgency would be gone, I dare say. And I’d guess that the famous shower scene wouldn’t be such an effective scare moment without the screeching strings- the visceral effect would be all but gone. But what would suffer most would probably be the post-killing scenes in which the seemingly innocent Norman is repeatedly questioned about the murder. In these scenes, Hitchcock cannily employed the same musical motifs in the earlier scenes involving Marion so that Norman feels like a victim. It’s a clever bit of misdirection that would be lost without the music behind it.

22) Best Screenplay of 2010

As I said above in question (5), I prefer to base my judgments of a movie on what happens between the opening logos and the closing credits. Because of this, I make it a point not to read the screenplays for the films, and consequently I don’t know how to best answer this question. Even something as basic as dialogue is a tough call. How much of what comes out of the characters’ mouth was on the page, and how much came out of shooting? Does the mood set by the film come from the screenplay or direction? How much of the story was constructed in the editing room? And what makes a “good” screenplay anyway? A good story? Good form and structure? Loads of research? Jesus, now my head hurts.

23) Movie You Feel Most Evangelistic About Right Now

Um… Dogtooth!

24) Worst/funniest movie accent ever

What in the hell was John Malkovich going for in Rounders? I mean, I get that Teddy KGB was supposed to be Russian. But while bizarre accents have been a tradition of comedies ever since the days of Peter Sellers, Rounders was intended to be a drama. Did it not occur to John Dahl that Malkovich’s sub-Boris Badenov routine would take everyone right out of the story?

As for deliberately funny accents, I’m a fan of Lambert Wilson’s “real” American and “fake” French accents in Alain Resnais’ Not on the Lips. The British/French Wilson is perfectly bilingual, which makes it all the funnier that his characters’ stumbling attempts at French sound like he’s reading of phonetically-translated cue cards. But just as funny is his chewed-on take on Middle American, which makes him sound like James Coburn with a lip full of Novocaine.

25) Best Cinematography of 2010

Most films that employ digital cinematography use the new medium as a replacement for old-school film. However, there are a handful of filmmakers that have figured out the unique possibilities for digital, and David Fincher is one of them. With The Social Network, Fincher and d.p. Jeff Cronenweth transformed a potentially dry subject- the founding of Facebook- and turned it into a visually startling work by employing technology as current as that upon which its protagonist created his online empire. Most impressive is how Fincher and Cronenweth take advantage of the sharpness of the Red camera to heighten the unique visual textures of the film’s various settings- the burnished halls of Harvard’s “final clubs,” the institutional light of the Facebook offices, the neon paradise of the nightclub where Zuckerberg conspires with Sean Parker, the bong smoke that weighs down the air in Facebook’s California house. Much of the time, it’s historical epics that hog the cinematography accolades, but The Social Network beats them all this year.

26) Olivia Wilde or Gemma Arterton



I don’t have a strong opinion about either one, honestly. Wilde’s face is more interesting, so she’s got the edge there. On the other hand, if I was still single I’d do my damnedest to snag the one-sheet for Tamara Drewe, featuring the memorable image of Arterton in tiny shorts. Then again, I haven’t seen the movie yet, so it’s not like I’m a huge fan. Of course, Wilde was on House, and my lady likes House, so I guess she has the edge.

27) Name the three best movies you saw for the first time in 2010 (Thanks, Larry!)

I don’t get a chance to watch as many older movies as I’d like to, so my list won’t be quite as impressive as some. But instead of answering Dogtooth yet again, here are three oldies-but-goodies submitted for your approval: (1) Sam Fuller’s incendiary White Dog, which I wrote about in detail for the Killer Animal Blogathon, (2) Hou Hsiao-hsien’s epic City of Sadness, a lovely drama about sweeping historical changes in Taiwan, and (3) John Woo’s Hard Boiled, with its awesomely unhinged extended battle in a hospital.

28) Best romantic movie couple of 2010

Most poignant: Kathy and Tommy, Never Let Me Go. Most promising: Lisa and George, How Do You Know. Most toxic: Gitti and Chris, Everyone Else. Hottest: Nina and Nina’s version of Lily, Black Swan. Most tragic: Dom and Mal, Inception.

29) Favorite shock/surprise ending

”You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!”

30) Best cinematic reason to have stayed home and read a book in 2010

It’s been almost eleven months since I saw this, but I still shudder a bit to think of the Jackie Chan kiddie vehicle The Spy Next Door. Late-period Chan has been fairly disheartening as a whole, I’d say- age has diminished his once-formidable athleticism to the point where he seems to be angling for the youth audience because he believes they’re the only ones who will still be impressed by his skills. But what makes the movie really egregious is that no one making it seemed to care. It’s as if the studio, producers, director, writers, actors, and everyone else down to the catering department figured that they only had to put in the least possible amount of effort in order to finish the movie and post a decent opening weekend on the road to a DVD release.

Don’t get me wrong- there are plenty of movies out there that feel like quick cash-grabs. But ever since I became a father, I’ve become especially annoyed by lousy movies aimed at kids. After all, children are full of imagination and creativity, two things that should always be encouraged. However, children are also highly susceptible to outside influences- to advertising and promotional tie-ins, to say nothing of peer pressure. So whenever Hollywood hard-sells shoddy goods like The Spy Next Door to children, it’s doing nothing less than grinding down a child’s creative impulses and destroying his ability to distinguish something really special from a run-of-the-mill time-waster (sadly, this is an ability many people find almost impossible to get back, if the ratings for Jersey Shore are any indication).

In short, not only should I have stayed home and read a book instead of seeing The Spy Next Door, but I should have stayed home with the offspring and read with him. At least then an extra precious little sliver of imagination in his brain might have survived a little longer.

31) Movies in 2011 could make me much happier if they’d only _______________

… ”release Tree of Life already.” Which it looks like they’re planning to do, so I’m at a loss for a better answer. Let’s see… “movies in 2011 could make me much happier if they’d only make it easier for me to watch the best new releases with my lady without having to plan ahead, pay for a sitter, etc.” Yeah, I guess that works.

Check out Dennis’ original post and more responses right here.

Killer Animal Blogathon Entry / Criterion Watching #2: White Dog

The overwhelming majority of titles that could be classified as “killer animal movies” fall squarely under the heading of B-movies. After all, for most people the phrase “killer animals” conjures up images of swarms of insects, jungle cats, or even giant bunnies on the loose, laying waste to human civilization. Hell, even the A-list movies in the lot- Jaws, most obviously- are still mostly about scaring the pants off the audience. I’m guessing that when Steve announced this Killer Animal Blogathon, his primary goal was to spotlight some of the genre’s more entertaining classics.

My selection is not one of these movies. Steve left the guidelines for the blogathon fairly vague, so while many people no doubt picked fun creature features, I decided to go the opposite direction. Not that there are many “serious” killer animal movies out there- in fact, I could only think of one. Then again, when many people hear about Sam Fuller’s White Dog, they mistake it for an especially sleazy entry into the genre. After all, it’s about a dog who kills African-Americans, so it’s got to be KKKujo, right? It was this same misconception that got White Dog withheld from American audiences by Paramount in the first place, and since then it’s gotten a bad reputation mitigated only slightly by the 2008 Criterion DVD release of the film. But then as now, White Dog is a major work by one of American cinema’s most incendiary talents, and it deserves to be taken seriously.

First, let’s just delve into that premise. Yes, this is a movie about a big white German shepherd that attacks and kills African-Americans, or as they still called them back in the early 1980s, “blacks.” But this white dog isn’t your garden variety killer animal. Unlike many killer-animal movies, White Dog never turns its titular character into a plot device who only turns up to maul someone then fade into the shadows until another victim comes calling. If anything, he’s the central character in the movie, around which all of the others revolve. Even when the dog is offscreen, he’s still the focus of the human characters’ lives and relationships with each other. At numerous points during the film, Fuller even adopts the dog’s point of view, in order to show us how he sees the world and to gauge the other characters through his eyes. In other movies, these shots might feel gimmicky, but here they enhance the film’s effect.

Likewise, Fuller allows us to gain further sympathy for the dog by focusing not on people who are against him but rather those who are most concerned. First, there’s Julie (former child star Kristy McNichol), a struggling actress who accidentally injures him with her car and takes him in before discovering his secret. Then there’s Carruthers (Burl Ives), who owns a company that provides animal performers for Hollywood. Finally, there’s Keys (Paul Winfield), the wild animal wrangler who takes it upon himself to re-educate the dog. All of these people care about the dog’s well-being in some way- Julie because she’s grown to love him, Carruthers because of his feelings about animals in general, and Keys (who is African-American) because he hates what has made the dog into a killer.

Julie is ostensibly the movie’s main human character, but Fuller is clearly most interested in and sympathetic to Keys. More than the other two, Keys recognizes that the dog is not to blame for his impulses to kill African-Americans. He speaks of the history of “white dogs”- how they were once used to track down freed slaves, then after the Civil War, escaped black prisoners (“but what about white prisoners?” Julie wisely asks). This dog’s urges are born from careful programming- early exposure to desperate African-Americans who have been paid by white racists to mistreat the animals- and based solely in fear and conditioned hatred. Keys knows that if he is to make the dog well again, he first needs to make the dog learn to trust him and his skin color. The film’s central scenes show Keys alone with the dog, allowing the dog to attack him (under pads, of course), never once retaliating. Once the dog begins to learn that Keys won’t hurt him, Keys begins to feed the dog in order to gain his trust.

Of course, it’s a long and difficult process toward rehabilitation, and at one point the dog escapes and kills an African-American man (Fuller removes any suspicion that White Dog is an exploitation film by avoiding showing both the killing and the aftermath). But even after this happens and even Julie and Carruthers want to put the dog down, Keys wants to cure the dog more than ever, motivated to score a victory against racism. In Romain Gary’s original novel, Keys acted on a need for revenge and re-trained the dog to kill whites, but Fuller wisely deviates from this and makes Keys’ motives more enlightened. The dog, by nature, is ruled by its programming, but humans are able to choose their actions.

And it’s this idea that makes White Dog more than just a killer-animal movie. By presenting us with an animal that isn’t governed by thought, Fuller asks us to consider our own deep-seated urges. After all, we like to think of ourselves as rational creatures, but much of how people self-identify is based in personal taste and bias. Some of these biases are natural and healthy, like what foods we like. Others are mostly harmless, such as the crazy-ass belief floating around nowadays that skinny waifs are somehow more attractive than curvy women (really, guys? Really?). But sometimes, these beliefs- be they religious, political, or social- can turn into a wedge and cause rifts in our society.

For example, look at the way the word “Muslim” is treated by many Americans as a dirty word. Of course, many of these same Americans know little about Islam other than that they bombed the World Trade Center and hate women and America, but that’s enough for them to be suspicious of and hateful to over one billion people worldwide. It doesn’t help that we’ve been bombarded by decades of nefarious big-screen terrorists and images of bearded, glowering men living in caves on the nightly news. But ultimately, it’s up to us whether we want to accept our often secondhand prejudices or come to terms with life’s complexities by using facts and reason. It’s only when we learn to consider their own thoughts and actions instead of accepting them at face value that we can move past our more hateful natures. And that’s what Fuller is saying with this movie- that if you can’t learn to see the world in anything more than simple black and white, you don’t have any more sense than… well, a white dog.

Footnote: I didn’t have room in my review for this, but after watching White Dog I couldn’t help but think back on my own experiences with racism, and more specifically my first experience with it. Back in grade school, I was looking at our class’ globe with one of my classmates when we started pointing out different countries. After a while, he spun the globe around to Africa, pointed at “Niger,” and said… I’m sure you can guess. After he did this, he started chuckling to itself, said it again, and looked at me like I was supposed to laugh too.

That evening, I asked my parents what the word meant, and I was sort of stunned at what they told me. By this time, I knew about different countries and races, but I couldn’t fathom the idea of prejudice based on skin color. For one thing, one of my best friends at the time was African-American, so the idea of looking down on someone for being darker-skinned sounded strange to me. Learning about racism at that age was a rude awakening for me. In fact, I’d say I grew up more that day than on any other day of my life, even more than when I learned the truth about Santa Claus. At least when I found out about Santa Claus, the explanation seemed logical. Whereas racism still doesn’t quite compute for me.

Oh, and I still can’t read the country name “Niger” without thinking of that jackass kid. Thanks a lot, buddy.

The Secret Greek Kid

Hey guys. I recently updated the White Elephant Blogathon post below to reflect a handful of stragglers who showed up a bit late to the party. I’m still expecting a few more participants, so keep checking back in between now and the end of the week for more reviews.

Additionally, I just found out that Rufus de Rham, who was set to contribute to the White Elephant, was taken to the hospital a few days back. Shaka Shervington, Rufus’ bud at Paper Spaceships, has assured me that Rufus is going to be fine. Still, my thoughts go out to him, and I’m hoping for a speedy recovery.

Meanwhile, writing a review for the White Elephant has semi-reinvigorated my desire to review movies regularly. So while you’re here, check out my thoughts on the following recent releases:

It's... the Return of the Curse of the White Elephant Blogathon!

A little over three years ago, Ben Lim and his buds over at Lucid Screening came up with one of the more entertaining blog phenomena I’ve seen- the White Elephant Blogathon. It was based on the concept of a White Elephant gift exchange, in which participants will each bring one gift, usually something less than desirable, and draw names to see who goes home with which gift. Ben’s inspiration was to do the same for movies- you submit one movie, then write about another blogger’s submission. Sometimes you’ll end up with one that’s surprisingly good- in 2008 I drew Seijun Suzuki’s Princess Raccoon- and other times, well, not so much .

Sadly, Ben wasn’t able to continue the tradition this year. However, he was gracious enough to accept my offer to take over hosting duties. Due to being tied up with the Muriels and other stuff, I wasn’t able to get the Blogathon up and running in time for April Fool’s Day, the date Ben has hosted it for the past three years. Instead, I’m going to be holding it a little over two months from now, on June 15.

Why June 15, you ask? Aside from giving everyone enough time to submit their choices then procure the titles that I’ve selected for them, I thought it just seemed like a normal, boring-sounding day, one that could stand to be livened up a little by something like this. Besides, should it go well this year, I’m hoping to move it back to the original date next year.

Naturally, I’ll be sticking to the rules that Ben has laid down in previous years:

1) Submit the title of a movie that you want someone else to review (preferably something available via Netflix).
2) Review the movie that you get assigned and post the review on June 15th.
3) Have fun!

So if you’re interested in taking part this year- and you know who you are- send your submission to me at lastwordsquiz@yahoo.com no later than May 1. Please don’t submit through the comments section- I’d like to keep this year’s selections a secret if possible. And if you’d like to know more about the White Elephant Blogathon, visit your local library. Or, failing that, leave a message in the comments box.

See you on June 15th! And spread the word, will ya? The more the merrier, says I.

White Elephants on Parade

In spite of the diminished amount of activity on his site over the past year, Muriels voter and SLH bud Ben Lim will nonetheless be running his much-beloved White Elephant Blogathon again this spring for the third consecutive year. I had a blast doing this last year, and I'm happy to take part again.

So go to Ben's site, check out the rules and regs, and if this sounds like fun (editor's note: it is) shoot Ben an e-Mail no later than Saturday. And pray, pray, pray that you're not assigned the movie I submitted. Bwahahahahaha...

An Appeal to My Base

I first discovered the super-cool auteur/rock star t-shirts from CineFile Video some time back, but I mostly forgot about them until yesterday, when Noel at the AV Club posted something about them. Of course, now that I've seen them again I sort of need to buy one. Question is, which one?

There are several ways to go about trying to decide which might be for you. There's always the option of choosing the one that imitates your favorite band of the bunch, although eighties-era metal has never really been my thing, so I don't think that would be my best course of action. In this case, I'd say that going with my favorite director from the choices they've given me would be more my speed. Then there's the option of going with the most willfully obscure, the coolest-looking, or even the funniest. But even exhausting all these options, I've still only been able to narrow it down to the following five choices:

Ingmar Bergman / Iron Maiden

Brian DePalma / Def Leppard

Yasujiro Ozu / Ozzy

Bela Tarr / Black Flag

Lars Von Trier / Van Halen

CineFile also sells three other t-shirts, which I eliminated for various reasons- Herzog because his shirt is the most ubiquitous of the bunch, Scorsese because he's such an obvious choice, and Fassbinder because... well, I dunno. The Fassbinder/Metallica thing is an interesting juxtaposition, but the shirt just isn't speaking to me.

Anyway, folks, here's where you come in. Help me decide which of these shirts I should buy. I've embedded a poll of my five favorites, from which you'll be able to select one.



In addition, I'd invite all of you to elaborate on your choices in the comments section. Bear in mind that all input will be considered if not necessarily heeded.

Thanks in advance, buds.

Son of Gratuitous Coen Brothers Argument Starter

Following the lead of my buds Ryan and Victor, here's my ranked list of Coen Brothers films:

Masterpieces:
1. Barton Fink
2. No Country for Old Men

Near-masterpieces:
3. The Man Who Wasn’t There
4. Fargo
5. Blood Simple

Awesome:
6. The Big Lebowski
7. Miller’s Crossing
8. Burn After Reading

Pretty darn good:
9. The Hudsucker Proxy
10. O Brother, Where Art Thou?

Not too shabby:
11. Raising Arizona
12. Intolerable Cruelty

Meh:
13. The Ladykillers

Need to see:
Henry Kissinger: Man on the Go

I've seen precious few lists thusfar that have placed Fink at or even near the top. Yet for some reason it's the Coen brothers film I've returned to most over the years, and the one that I've grown closest to in that time. Why is this? Perhaps it's the way the Coens approach the film's central message- that most artists are basically full of crap. At a time when the Coens surely must've had studios coming after them (the rollicking Raising Arizona surely must've garnered them plenty of offers to make brain-dead big-budget comedies), they rebelled by portraying Hollywood as a place where creativity goes to die, and did it with such style and wit that their barbs really sting, rather than feeling like the self-congratulatory insider soft-pedaling- more suited to a celebrity roast- that typically passes for industry satire. And so many wonderful character creations, especially in W.P. Mayhew and Karl Mundt, a pair of unforgettable mentors from hell (one literally, the other figuratively). If you haven't seen this lately, you really ought to check it out again.

My Answers to Dr. Zachary Smith's Lost in the Space at the End of Summer Quiz

I neglected to post my responses to Dennis Cozzalio's Memorial Day quiz, a mistake I don’t intend to make again. Anyway, here goes:

1) Your favorite musical moment in a movie

It's tough to beat the moment in Once Upon a Time in the West when Henry Fonda's acid guitar riff melds with Charles Bronson's harmonica theme right when they finally come face to face.

2) Ray Milland or Dana Andrews

I like them both, but only one appeared in movies with both Anna May Wong (as an extra in Piccadilly) and Rosey Grier (The Thing With Two Heads, of course). Milland wins.

3) Favorite Sidney Lumet movie

I love Dog Day Afternoon, Prince of the City and The Verdict, but to my eyes it's all been downhill since 12 Angry Men.

4) Biggest surprise of the just-past summer movie season

Given my general disdain for Dreamworks animation, I had almost no expectations for Kung Fu Panda. But I was surprised how much I enjoyed it. Sure, it's predictable and fluffy, but it's also a lot of a fun, and a perfect vehicle for Jack Black's outsized personality. It's no WALL*E, but as family entertainment, it'll do just fine.

5) Gene Tierney or Rita Hayworth

Still Gene Tierney, just like it was last time you asked.

6. What’s the last movie you saw on DVD? In theaters?

Theatre: John Crowley's Boy A. The movie boasts a star-making lead performance by Andrew Garfield and yet another fine turn by one of my favorite character actors, Peter Mullan. Yet it felt too timid in coming to grips with the main character's violent past, as if it was too eager to make him sympathetic to go to the effort of making him complex.

DVD: Death Becomes Her. I watched it for a When Good Directors Go Bad column, and man was it well-suited to the feature. Unfunny and shrill, with lead performances that aren't half as diva-like as they need to be, and effects that were groundbreaking in their time but now come off as dated.

7) Irwin Allen’s finest hour?

I'm sure Dr. Smith would like me to say Lost in Space, but I can't not pick The Swarm.

8) What were the films where you would rather see the movie promised by the poster than the one that was actually made?

Much as I love Fargo, I'd be curious to someday see a movie that was animated entirely with needlepoint.

9> Chow Yun-Fat or Tony Leung

Chow's pretty cool, but Tony Leung is one of the great stars of our time- just as cool as Chow, but a much more versatile actor, and with star charisma to burn. And as badass as Chow can be, let's see him pull off the moment in Hero where Tony snatches the arrow out of the air.

10) Most pretentious movie ever

I'd say Cremaster 3, except that Matthew Barney vehemently insists that his movies are actually filmed sculptures or what have you. Which is in itself almost unspeakably pretentious.

11) Favorite Russ Meyer movie

Nothing against Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, and Faster, Pussycat, Kill! Kill!, but for me, the only choice is Up!, which is both totally insane and shit-hot brilliant. How can you not love a movie that begins with Hitler getting sodomized then killed with a piranha in his bath? You'd think it would be all downhill from there, but Meyer somehow maintains the madness throughout. It's as close as Meyer came to recreating his id cinematically, and if he made a masterpiece in his career, Up! is it.

12) Name the movie that you feel best reflects yourself, a movie you would recommend to an acquaintance that most accurately says, “This is me.”

I used to recommend Annie Hall to friends as a movie that finally "got" who I was, and I haven't found a better choice since then. So Annie Hall it is.

13) Marlene Dietrich or Greta Garbo

Garbo was great in her prime and never overstayed her welcome, but imagine what iconic turns we might have gotten out of her in middle age. Marlene wins this one.

14) Best movie snack? Most vile movie snack?

Whenever I'm out with my girlfriend we get Buncha Crunch, but when it's just me I'm partial to Peanut M&Ms. I can't abide the Plain, er, "Milk Chocolate" M&Ms, however- without the peanuts the magic is gone.

15) Current movie star who would be most comfortable in the classic Hollywood studio system

Well, there are plenty of stars today who might have succeeded as old-school studio stars, but how about a couple who might even have done better under the old Hollywood system? The first that springs to mind is Annette Bening, a fine actress who usually seems slightly ill at ease in her movies, largely because her acting style is more stylized than today's more "realistic" female parts generally call for. It's hard not to imagine her career following a similar trajectory as Rosalind Russell, from whip-smart characters such as Hildy Johnson in her younger years to tart middle-aged character roles as her career progressed. Another possibility is Hugh Jackman, who is generally far better than the action roles he's usually called upon to play. He would have been well-suited to unapologically rugged man's man roles such as those played by Clark Gable in his heyday. If nothing else, working during the golden age of screen musicals would have given him ample opportunity to show off his hoofing and crooning skills onscreen.

16) Fitzcarraldo—yes or no?

Yes, with a Burden of Dreams chaser.

17) Your assignment is to book the ultimate triple bill to inaugurate your own revival theater. What three movies will we see on opening night?

If my theatre has a 70mm projector- which of course it will- opening night would be 2001, Lawrence of Arabia, and Vertigo, although not necessarily in that order.

18) What’s the name of your theater? (The all-time greatest answer to this question was once provided by Larry Aydlette, whose repertory cinema, the Demarest, is, I hope, still packing them in…)

An obvious one, but I like the idea of naming my cinema "The Lumiere."

19) Favorite Leo McCarey movie

McCarey directed Duck Soup, but I've always considered that more of a Marx Brothers movie with McCarey manning the camera. For a better representation of his talent, check out the sadly-unavailable on DVD Make Way For Tomorrow, which demonstrates a real sensitivity with actors and a thematic complexity that's rare from any director of any period. That he made The Awful Truth that same year only speaks to McCarey's versatility.

20) Most impressive debut performance by an actor/actress.

I'm guessing you mean big-screen debut, right? Falconetti is obviously the right answer here, but I'd also like to stump for Andy Griffith's revelatory turn in A Face in the Crowd, which is even more of a shock today than it was when the film was first released. As Lonesome Rhoades, Griffith tempers the character's naked ambition with a cornpone charm (not for nothing is his theme song called "Just Plain Folks") that scarily anticipates this current presidency. It's scary stuff, and I've heard that playing the character so frightened Griffith that he promptly retreated to the safer, more cuddly Andy persona we all know today.

21) Biggest disappointment of the just-past summer movie season

That in spite of a new studio and a less constricting R rating, M. Night Shyamalan continued his downward spiral with The Happening.

22) Michelle Yeoh or Maggie Cheung

Much as I like Michelle, I'd have to say I've gotten more overall pleasure from Maggie Cheung's performances, especially in her work with Wong Kar-wai and Olivier Assayas. Sadly, she appears to be on indefinite hiatus now, so Michelle has plenty of chances to catch up, provided she makes more good movies and fewer The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperors.

23) 2008 inductee into the Academy of the Overrated

Scarlett Johansson must have an awesome agent, because considering how many movies by talented filmmakers she's stunk up in recent years, it's amazing she still has a career at all. Dear Hollywood- can we please make her go away, or at least start casting her only in bad movies so I won't be forced to suffer through any more of her "acting"?

24) 2008 inductee into the Academy of the Underrated

I can count on exactly two fingers the movies of movies I've liked in which Anna Faris appears (I'm not a Lost in Translation fan, sorry). But I don't I've seen her give a performance I haven't enjoyed. While I do wish she'd make more Brokeback Mountains as a way to throw a bone to those fans who aren't into the Scary Movie franchise, she's a damn fine comedian, with a sunny and endearing presence. Hell, I'd buy a ticket to see her in House Bunny if I wasn't afraid that would simply encourage her to make more garbage, but that's what Netflix is for, right?

25) Fritz the Cat—yes or no?

Uh... not yet?

26) Trevor Howard or Richard Todd

Haven't seen much of Todd's work, so Howard by default.

27) Antonioni once said, “I began taking liberties a long time ago; now it is standard practice for most directors to ignore the rules.” What filmmaker working today most fruitfully ignores the rules? What does ignoring the rules of cinema mean in 2008?

Cinema, especially American cinema, has become so homogenized that most of the movies have had all of their rough spots smoothed out. And while this certainly makes for easier going when you're watching a bad movie, it also makes movies in general far less interesting. So here's to Spike Lee, a director who follows his impulses even when they're not so good. A director who followed a popular comedy concert film with a TV satire that included copious amounts of blackface. Who made the first major Hollywood movie to address 9/11, only to follow that with a misbegotten issues-driven comedy combining such disparate plot strands as Enron, corporate whistleblowing, and fatherhood among African-American men. And who followed his biggest hit to date with a four-hour Katrina documentary that actually pointed fingers and named names. A number of directors nowadays have kept a similar maverick spirit, but of these, Lee's career is easily the most fascinating.

28) Favorite William Castle movie

I Saw What You Did is pretty amazing in its way. My jaw still drops every time I see the scene where John Ireland throws the knife at the girl. Part of me wonders how this scene could be real- how it could have possibly slipped past the arbiters of good taste. But thank goodness it did.

29) Favorite ethnographically oriented movie

How Tasty Was My Little Frenchman, a movie that takes the archetype of the "noble savage" and turns it on its ear. Director Nelson Pereira dos Santos' film tells the story of a French sailor who's taken hostage by a Brazilian tribe, and as we follow him, dos Santos encourages the audience to identify with the white hero instead of his captors. Consequently, our urges to see him rescued by a formulaic turn of events grows the more indignities the tribe visits upon him. We want him to escape, or for the "savages" to turn noble in order to spare his life, rather than subjecting him to the tribal ritual to which the film's title infers. But it never happens, which makes the movie a gloriously wicked joke on us, as we question the reasons behind our desire to see the white man triumph over his darker-skinned captors, when they were mostly minding their own business until the white man came along.

30) What’s the movie coming up in 2008 you’re most looking forward to? Why?

With last year's Zodiac, David Fincher made his best film to date, and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button seems perfectly suited to his style and sensibilities. In addition, Brad Pitt grows as an actor the more adventurous his roles become, and the character of a man who ages in reverse should give him plenty of opportunities to show off new facets of his talent. There's a small chance this could fail, but I wouldn't bet on it being anything less than awesome.

31) What deceased director would you want to resurrect in order that she/he might make one more film?

Orson Welles. Throughout his career, Welles was always experimenting with the possibilities of film, even in his later years with the jazzy editing and kooky fiction/fact hybrid of F for Fake. The mind reels at the thought of Welles surviving to become a godfather to the indie film movement instead of just a patron saint, to see him examining the possibilities of digital video and newfangled editing software, and to have the opportunity to finally make movies in a film culture that revered him as a master instead of merely a has-been who slummed in wine commercials and voiceover work.

32) What director would you like to see, if not literally entombed, then at least go silent creatively?

Say what you will about Dr. Uwe Boll or Michael Bay- at least with their films you get a sense of the guys making them. Instead, I'd go after the king of uninspired big-budget hackwork, Stephen Sommers. Remember when he called Van Helsing his dream project because he considered himself "a horror buff"? No self-respecting fan of the horror genre would ever be caught dead enjoying a movie like Van Helsing, much less making it.

33) Your first movie star crush

I didn't start to really get into movies until I was in high school, and back then I didn't really go in for having crushes on the leading ladies. But all that changed my senior year, when a kindred spirit behind the counter at the local video store- one who knew of my adventurous, omnivorous palate- recommended a movie to me and my friends. "It's French," he said, "and you know what that means." The movie was Betty Blue, and from the beginning I was blown away not just by all the sex, but also by the actress who was having all of this sex- Beatrice Dalle. Yeah, I know- I was a weird kid even then. But something about her- whether it was her feral presence, her tempestuous emotions, or her untempered carnality- seemed completely new to me, and therefore terribly exciting. There simply weren't women like that in my world, and that she was in a movie promised something wholly different from my experiences up to that point. Betty Blue was also my first subtitled film, so I suppose I have Beatrice to thank for sending me down the rabbit hole of world cinema. But I'll also be grateful for helping me get through those lonely, anxious teenage years when it seemed like everyone but me was getting action. Even if the world I thought she was promising never quite made it to my neck of the woods, it nevertheless gave me something to help for.

To read other people’s responses to these questions, or if you’re interested in taking the quiz yourself, click here.

"Now that he knows who I really am, he respects me."

Note: As promised oh so long ago, here's my review of Jérome Boivin's BAXTER. I've also posted this over at The Screengrab, but the person who requested the review- the one and only Victor- is unable to access that site, so I'm posting it here for his benefit. Also, here are the links to the other requested reviews:

Jason Alley- Les Revenants (2004, Robin Campillo)

Steven Carlson- Les Anges du Péché (1943, Robert Bresson)


From the time we’re young, we’re told that dogs are “man’s best friend.” Indeed, the popular image of dogs is as friendly, playful creatures who love us unconditionally. It gives us comfort to believe this, but things are more complicated than this simplistic image would suggest. Far from being blindly loyal companions, dogs tend to react to their surroundings, especially the sounds, smells and behaviors of those nearby. How far of a stretch is it to imagine dogs actually thinking?

The plot of Baxter finds its canine protagonist cycling through a trio of different owners, each of whom treats him differently. Baxter’s first owner is the elderly widow Madeleine, who is frightened of him and keeps him around primarily to have another living creature in the house. After her death, he’s adopted by a young couple who shower him with love and affection until they have a baby of their own. Finally, Baxter ends up with Charles, a teenaged sadist who disciplines him. One of the central ideas of Baxter is the way he responds to each owner’s treatment. As a dog, he is never explicitly told his purpose in life, so he has to figure it out as he goes. This is fine by him- as he says in voiceover, “I thought I had a lot to learn from humans.”

One of the reasons why Baxter works is the casting of its lead “actor.” Most dogs in cinema fall into three distinct categories: cute, noble, or malevolent. Baxter doesn’t really fit into any of these classifications. With his small stature, beady eyes, and pointy ears, Baxter is shifty-looking, but not especially scary. In addition, he doesn’t make a great deal of noise unless he’s provoked. There’s something thoughtful about Baxter, which makes him ideal for a film whose tagline is “beware the dog who thinks.”

In the course of the film, we hear Baxter’s thoughts in detail, in voiceover. Interestingly, they sound like the kinds of thoughts an actual dog might have. Many of them focus on smells, especially as they relate to the people around him. It’s in Baxter’s nature to react to smells, whether it’s the fear of Madeleine (“I’m uneasy when people are scared,” he says) or the love bestowed on him by the young woman. Throughout the film, the sense of smell comes to symbolize deep-seated instincts, an idea that’s made most explicit when he meets a female spaniel in heat whose smell he can’t resist, try as he might. To his shame, Baxter discovers that smell brings out “unnatural thoughts”- which of course are the most natural thoughts in the world.

By contrast, Baxter also believes he has a higher purpose for himself, even if he can’t figure out what it is. The old woman doesn’t help him in this regard- she mostly keeps him cooped up in her home as her own life falls into disarray. He flowers under the attention of the young couple- love brings out the goodness in him- but this love turns to jealousy when they have a baby. It’s not until he meets the boy that he’s truly in his element- Charles is a harsh master, but Baxter finds comfort in servitude, and respite from his “unnatural thoughts.” He calls his relationship with Charles “the greatest pleasure I ever had. He commands, I obey.”

One of the most interesting touches of Baxter is the way Boivin shows us the lives of his characters independent of Baxter. Much of the film is seen through Baxter’s small black eyes, but occasionally we are given insights into his owners that he couldn’t possibly know. Early in the film, Madeleine tells a friend, “growing old is a matter of dignity,” a statement that takes on irony after she becomes a shut-in and refuses to see anyone. By contrasting the lives the characters lead with Baxter’s impressions of them, we see the difference between his point of view and the traditional human perspective.

Consider Baxter’s behavior after the young woman gets pregnant. The first change he senses is her smell- “now it’s like smelling two people.” He refers to her pregnancy as “sickness,” and remarks at how her husband treats her differently now, no longer making love to her in the evening. After the baby is born, he can’t understand their love for “the creature”, stating “I’ve never seen anything so weak and mindless.” Only later does he experience this for himself, after the spaniel gives birth to puppies who smell like him.

It’s in the final third of film, in which Baxter meets Charles, “a human who’s just like me,” that Baxter takes on a new level of fascination. Once Baxter has discovered his function- to obey- there is conflict between his instincts and what he perceives as his higher purpose. After his “shameful” experience with the spaniel, Baxter finds he has to regain the boy’s respect through a show of strength, which he accomplishes by killing another dog. Yet Baxter will not let himself kill mindlessly. “I killed when the situation was unbearable of when I felt threatened,” he says, but the boy doesn’t understand. At the film’s climax, Baxter finds himself in a spot that places his function at war with his “unnatural thoughts,” and unfortunately for him, he decides to serve that higher calling. It’s then that he learns his final lesson, “never be obedient.”

The recent Lionsgate DVD release of Baxter positions the film as a conventional killer-dog thriller. However, Cujo this isn’t. There’s something philosophical about the film that makes deeply troubling in a way most films of this sort don’t even try to be. Boivin’s view of human nature isn’t an especially hopeful one- even the film’s most loving characters are seen more as exceptions than the norm. In light of the suffering we see, Baxter’s point of view becomes perfectly understandable. If nothing else, it gives me pause to wonder what The Girls think of me.

Movies Quotes Meme, Take 2 (updated 6 March 08)

I've done this meme already, but since Donna has it going over at her blog, I guess I'll do it again here as well. But first, the rules!

Rules:
1. Pick 10 of your favorite movies.
2. Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
3. Post them here for everyone to guess (use the comments, if you please).
4. Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and post the answer along with who guessed it.
5. No Googling or using IMDb search functions. You're on your honor.
6. One movie guess at a time. Give people a chance to guess before you steal all of the glory.

And now, the quotes, all taken from movies in my top 100 list. That's the only hint you're getting outta me, folks...

Updated 6 March: ... or so I'd thought, except that two of the quotes proved more troublesome than I'd originally anticipated. So I'll go ahead and give you a few hints to help with quotes #5 and #8:

a. Both of the films are in black and white.

b. The performer who delivered line #5 was nominated for an Oscar for the film in question.

As for #8, I believe you already have enough hints to get this one, provided your head's in the right place. If nobody guesses them by Saturday night, I'll go ahead and post the answers then.

1. This country's still growing up. Certain diseases, you're better off having when you're still young. Cerb Chaos snags this one, correctly guessing Once Upon a Time in America. Halfway there, folks.

2. Beware of good deeds. They cost far too much and leave a nasty smell. Victor strike again, with Smiles of a Summer Night.

3. I put every damn pipe in this neighborhood. People think that pipes grow in their homes. But they sure as hell don't! Look at my knees! Look at my knees! Longtime SLH friend Andrew nails it- Eraserhead.

4. Conscience is a nuisance. A fly. A barking dog. Erik swoops in to guess this quote, from The New World.

5. Well, whatever it is, I want it on the rocks, straight and dirty, because I feel very very bitchy tonight. Wrapping up the game is Cerb Chaos, identifying this vague Bette Davis-esque quote from John Cassavetes' Faces, and in the process taking us up over 20 comments, which if I recall correctly is a record in these here parts.

6. You ought to put handles on that skull. Maybe you could grow geraniums in it. Victor again, identifying The Lady Eve.

7. The silly bitch has fainted in the wrong scene! New arrival Ali swoops in and grabs this quote, from Peeping Tom. Welcome aboard Ali. Also, sorry Donna, this should have been yours, had you moved more quickly.

8. If the doors of perception were cleansed, everything would appear to man as it is: infinite. I could practically see the light bulb over Andrew's head as he put together the black-and-white clue with the numerous mentions of William Blake in the comments section to this post. Right you are man, it's Dead Man.

9. Beauty of mine, sit before me. Let me peruse you and remember you... always like this. Victor again, identifying this deceptively romantic-sounding quote from Last Tango in Paris.

10. If you send for a doctor, I will see him now. Victor gets it on the first try- Truffaut's Two English Girls. Which you may recall was the inspiration for a certain world-famous guinea pig.

My Dinner With Someone Not Named André

As if I didn't have enough to write about already, I discovered today that I've been tagged by my pal Andrew Bemis of Cinevistaramascope for the currently-in-progress My Dinner With ______ meme. Anyway, I suppose we should start with the ground rules:

1. Pick a single person past or present who works in the film industry you would like to have dinner with. And tell us why you chose this person.

2. Set the table for your dinner. What would you eat? Would it be in a home or at a restaurant? And what would you wear? Feel free to elaborate on the details.

3. List five thoughtful questions you would ask this person during dinner.

4. When all is said and done, select six bloggers to pass this Meme along to.

5. Link back to Lazy Eye Theatre, so people know the mastermind behind this Meme.

Moving on. This is actually my kinda meme, since I had a similar idea a few years back. Well, some of the details were different- my idea was for a TV show on IFC or Sundance for a series in which two movie industry professionals have a conversation in city they have in common. It could be where they were born- say, an episode about Scorsese and Spike Lee walking around NYC- but it needn't be. Anyway, one of the episodes I had in mind, back when I was more confident that I had a real future in the movie industry, involved talk between me and a respected filmmaker who came from my hometown. I don't see why that wouldn't also work here. So, I give you...

Coffee, and Perhaps a Few Cigarettes...

...with Jim Jarmusch

Like me, Jarmusch is an Akron boy, although we're separated by about three decades. Still, I think we'd have a lot to talk about, even if it's only about the city we've long since escaped. Because of this, we'd definitely have to have the dinner in Akron. And rather than making reservations at a fancy eatery (he's still an indie filmmaker, after all), we'd probably just find a good take-out joint. If it was my choice, perhaps we'd stop at DiVitis' Italian Market on North Hill- their sausage sandwiches were a staple of my youth- or maybe drive in to Swenson's (home of the Galley Boy™), but since he's the guest of honor I'd naturally let him choose.

And then we'd just walk or drive around, check out the city, see what's changed. Because of this casual format, I don't think I'd have a list of questions for Jim. A lot of it would probably end up being us driving past an old movie theatre and talking about the movies we saw there, or stopping at our old schools, and so forth. You know, just a couple of guys, talking about how it used to be, back in the old days. That the old days would be different for each of us, so that would make things more interesting.

I'm tagging the following suckers friends:

Jason at I Hate Blogs

Donna at Union, Trueheart and Courtesy

Steven at the Ongoing Cinematic Education of Steven Carlson

Dennis at Sergio Leone at the Infield Fly Rule

James at James' Mad Grasp for Relevancy

Adam at Blog Bilong Adam

Bon appetit!