The Return of the Curse of the Incredible Two-Headed Marathon

In my younger days, I wasn’t much of a horror-movie fan. Having come fairly late to my movie love compared to some cinephiles out there, I made it a point to gobble up canonical classics in the course of my cinematic education. But in the process of doing so, I missed out on a lot of genre favorites, especially in the more populist genres such as Westerns and particularly horror films.

Consequently, it comes as something of a surprise to discover that this year represents my tenth trip to Columbus’ annual horror marathon, which in its present incarnation is known as the Incredible Two-Headed Marathon. And while the younger me might not have considered this his idea of a good time, I can confirm that it’s a blast, so much so that I’ve started taking my wife with me. Having missed a lot of the classics, the marathon affords me the chance to enjoy them for the first time on the big screen.

But the fun of the marathon goes beyond the movies themselves, as any marathoid will tell you. Naturally, some of the movies go over better with a crowd than others (one of my first marathons included Don’t Look Now, which isn’t exactly a crowd pleaser but is certainly more welcoming than Irreversible, which played two years ago). Beyond that, however, there are the selections from co-host Bruce Bartoo’s vast library of vintage trailers, the short films, the costume and scream contests, the de rigeur audience participation, and of course the experience of holing oneself up in a movie theatre for twenty-four hours, healthy diet and proper hygiene be damned.

Over the past decades, many a movie lover and armchair pundit has bemoaned the diluting of the “audience experience” as a part of going to movies. Whether it’s discussing the increasing ease of getting top-quality presentation in the comfort of one’s own home or bitching about those damn kids and their yelling and cell phone usage during the show, going to the movies has, for most people, lost a lot of the magic it once had. But to those people, I’ll just say this: if you want a communal moviegoing experience, the Marathon delivers.

This year’s lineup, roughly in order:

Bruce and co-host Joe Neff always begin with an oldie-but-goodie, and horror doesn’t get much older than this year’s lead-off hitter, 1919’s The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari. It’s great, of course, but what makes this even more exciting is that it’ll be accompanied by a new score performed by Columbus favorite Sue Harshe.

My introduction to the cycle of Roger Corman’s big-screen Poe adaptations came two years ago at the marathon when I saw the gorgeous Nic Roeg-lensed Masque of the Red Death. This year brings another Corman/Poe film, The Pit and the Pendulum, which doubles as a tribute to horror icon Vincent Price, who stars in the film and would have celebrated his 100th birthday this year.

Ti West’s House of the Devil was one of the better horror films of the past decade, more for the slow-burn style of the first two-thirds rather than the relatively prosaic payoff. Still, it’ll be nice to see this one with a crowd.

Another one that should benefit from the Marathon experience is Bride of Frankenstein, still one of the hallmarks of the genre. Most of the time, Golden Age Hollywood horror feels a bit slow and stodgy for this crowd, but what sets Bride is that the laughs don’t feel out of place since it’s actually supposed to be funny and bizarre. Also, Ang hasn’t seen this yet, so it’ll be fun to introduce her to it.

Meanwhile, the one I’m probably looking forward to most here is Andy Warhol and Paul Morrissey’s Flesh for Frankenstein, which I’ve somehow missed out on so far. I know very little about the particulars of this, except that it has something of a reputation…

And speaking of reputation, few horror films nowadays are as notorious as A Serbian Film, which has its Columbus theatrical premiere at this year’s marathon. Neither Ang nor I are big fans of so-called “extreme” horror movies (for example, I didn’t cotton to Martyrs, which played here last year), so we might duck out during this to check on the dogs and grab a bite to eat instead.

This year’s other premiere is Midnight Son, which I actually hadn’t heard of until it was announced as part of the lineup. Ang is a big fan of vampire movies, and I’m also curious to see what wrinkles this one has on this well-tilled ground. I for one am hoping this is more Martin than Twilight (sorry hon).

It just wouldn’t be a horror marathon without a gonzo Asian thriller on the bill. Bruce and Joe set the bar high last year with House, and this year’s inclusion is the allegedly strange and “ultra-rare” Goke: Bodysnatcher From Hell. How can you go wrong with a title like that, he asked with a hopeful smirk on his face.

Along with Pit and the Pendulum and Flesh For Frankenstein, the third movie I’m most looking forward to at the marathon is The Hitcher. This is another one of those I haven’t seen yet, but I’m a fan of Rutger Hauer in steel-eyed baddie mode, so this should be right up my alley.

Giallo films have generally been hit-and-miss with me, but I’m willing to give The Beyond a shot this year. I’ve yet to really enjoy a Lucio Fulci film, but what the hell, right?

Bruce and Joe have announced James Gunn’s slugfest Slither for some previous marathons, but somehow it’s always been one of those that gets cut when the marathon is running behind. Still, it’s a lot of fun for those with strong stomachs for gross-out gags and should be fun with the marathon audience- provided it doesn’t get cut, that is.

The final film on this year’s marathon schedule is the original Hellraiser. This one, unlike a lot of eighties horror favorites, is one I’ve actually seen. I’m not a huge fan of this, but admittedly I haven’t seen it in years, and I’m perfectly willing to give it another chance, if I make it through everything else first.

The Incredible Two-Headed Marathon takes place at the Grandview Theatre, beginning at noon on Saturday and running through noon-ish on Sunday. Tickets are $40 at the door. For more information, check out the web site.

Banner weekend

After six and a half lean months of cinema here in Central Ohio, last weekend was jam-packed with goodness. Most visible was, of course, Inception, but this weekend also saw the local releases of such acclaimed titles as I Am Love, Exit Through the Gift Shop, Winter's Bone, and Father of My Children. Unfortunately, when you're as busy as I am, weekends like this force you to make choices. And believe me, it's tough. However, I decided to wait on Inception so that I could watch it with Ang, and instead I chose two of the most promising arthouse releases before they blew town altogether. As it turns out I made the right choice, since one is my favorite movie so far this year, and the other one's pretty damn good as well. My reviews of both can be found at the links below.

Click here for my review of The Father of My Children.

No, wait! Click here for my review of Exit Through the Gift Shop!

Saving Gracefully

Tax returns are due tomorrow, and while for some people this portends a healthy return check, I’m not so lucky. For the third year in a row, I’ve owed a good chunk of change to Uncle Sam (and his stately progeny, Cousin Ted). I’m hoping this will be the final year that this will happen to me- writing for Screengrab was a blast, but they didn’t take out any taxes from my check, leading me to grit my teeth every April 15.

Being bled again this year- funny, $600 in taxes doesn’t feel like that much until you have to pay it all at once- has naturally strengthened by resolve to save money whenever possible. But unlike when I was living alone and I could simply rely on Netflix and the Columbus Public Library system to keep me entertained and the good folks at Maruchan to feed me, now that I’ve got Ang and the Offspring it’s gotten a little more complicated. After all, while you can tell a kid until you’re blue in the face that when you buy Frosted Flakes you’re mostly paying for the tiger on the box, there’s just something about the young boy’s taste buds that won’t allow store brands of their favorite products to pass muster.

And it’s more than just the finickiness of a child’s eating habits- it just feels right for a family to sit down and enjoy a full meal, both as a wrap-up to the day and as a bonding ritual that allows everyone to get together at least once a day as a unit. And when you’re having a honest-to-goodness dinner, you want something good, not just something edible. It’s not just about filling your stomachs- it’s about relaxing and enjoying some time together. At least, that’s what I like my dinners to be.

So how to reconcile my goal of saving money with my desire to provide my family with tasty, nutritious dinners? The most obvious change would be to make the switch to store brands in some cases. Of course, Tony the Tiger and pals will still find their way into my grocery cart, but in the cases with many staples of my diet- pasta, for example- the store brands work just as well for our purposes as the name brands do. In addition, I’m trying to be keep a closer eye on the sales and promotions at the supermarket and, if necessary, do some quick mental computations to determine the best value. This can be tricky, as the general assumption is that the larger sizes tend to have a lower per-unit cost, but this isn’t always the case. For example, a few weeks ago Kroger was selling a pack of eight Pop Tarts on sale for $1.88, and a box of twelve for almost twice that amount. So much for conventional wisdom.

Perhaps the biggest way we’ve been trying to cut down on food expenses is to start looking for homemade alternatives to restaurant or carry-out food. Naturally, there are always going to be times when there’s no alternative but to eat out. Now that spring is here, the Offspring is busy with sports, so whenever he’s got a game there really isn’t time for anything BUT carry-out. However, if you’re serious about saving money, you can’t let restaurant eating become your default choice just because you don’t feel like cooking.

One thing we’ve tried lately is to overhaul our weekly pizza dinner. Whereas we once relied on pizza-delivery chains to take care of the meal, recently we’ve started buying the ingredients at the grocery store and preparing the pizzas at home. This is easier than one might think- pre-made crusts are tasty and reasonably priced, and pizza sauce, cheese, and toppings don’t cost a whole lot, unless of course you’re topping your pizzas with expensive meats and hoity-toity veggies. As for us, we tend to stick with the old reliable pepperoni (or just cheese for the Offspring).

After my last ingredients run, I itemized the cost of preparing two pizzas, one pepperoni and one cheese. Here’s what I came up with:

Pre-made 12 inch pizza crusts (2) - $5
12 oz. mozzarella cheese - $3
12 oz. pizza sauce - $1
½ pack (~50) slices pepperoni - $1.50
Total - $10.50

Of course, this doesn’t factor in the smaller costs such as spices, butter or olive oil to brush on the crusts, and gas for the oven, but those would take the cost up to $11, tops. Not bad at all for two pizzas.

So, you ask, how did they turn out? Not to sound immodest, but pretty darn good, especially for a non-professional cook like myself. The Offspring was especially fond of the cheese pizza, eating an unheard-of-for-him four slices. And it even passed the all-important next-day test- after all, any pizza worth its sauce will still be good after a night in the fridge. Now, I wouldn’t claim that my homemade pizzas were as good as the ones we order from the local delivery joints. Then again, those usually run us about twice the cost of the homemade ones, and they certainly aren’t twice as good as the homemade kind. And considering that (a) it takes less time to have a pizza on the table when you make it yourself than when you order one, and (b) the Offspring can help out it he wants, I think I’ll keep on baking my pizzas at home, thank you very much.

To that end, I’ve been puzzling out ways to make our pizzas even better. Maybe next time I’ll pick up some provolone to lace in with the mozzarella, or some onions or peppers to add some zing to the toppings. In addition, I’m trying to find other restaurant favorites I can learn to whip up at home. Anybody know of some good (and fairly simple) Chinese recipes? Because that would be awesome.

Accounting for Myself

Ever since Nerve dropped Screengrab like the proverbial bad habit this past May, I’ve struggled to continue my once-impressive output. Part of the reason for that is financial- I was getting paid for it before, and now that I’m working strictly pro bono it becomes that much harder to write for free than it was in the past. Consequently, it’s simply easier to occupy my time with other pursuits. As you know, I moved in with Angela and the Offspring this summer, and it’s been everything I’d hoped for. Not always easy, of course, but I’m certainly not having second thoughts about the decision.

In addition to the new demands of live-in boyfriend-hood and quasi-fatherhood, I’ve also been busy with some other pursuits. In January, I started taking college courses part-time, in the evenings and on weekends. I earned my B.A. back in 2001, but I have yet to do anything in my major field of study (Humanities, so duh), and now that I’ve got more financial responsibilities on my plate than I had before, I figured that it was time to go back to school to study something I can actually make a little money doing. So I’m studying Accounting, with the goal of becoming a CPA.

I hinted at this decision back in February when I resigned my post as head honcho of the Muriels- though I’m staying on in a consigliere-esque role- but I’ve kept mum on the details until now since I didn’t want to mention it until I was sure that I could actually handle it. It was a struggle at first, but I’ve been working hard and have gotten good grades to show for it, and it looks like I’ll be seeing this thing through to the end.

Since returning to school, I always hoped that I might be able to find time to keep the blog going as I once did, but seeing as how I’ve written only a handful of reviews since Screengrab folded, it looks like that isn’t going to happen. But in the interest of giving my fans some thoughts on the movies I’ve been seeing, I recently settled upon a solution- micro-reviews. That’s right- all of the 2009 releases I’ve seen will be compacted, processed, and packaged into an easily digestible ten-word format for your reading pleasure and critical enlightenment. In some cases, I’d like to think I captured the essence of these movies- or my feelings about them, anyway- with haiku-like precision. However, in others I couldn’t resist the urge to get a little silly.

Anyway, hope you enjoy. In a handful of instances, I've linked to longer piecesI've written about the films, or work by others that dovetails nicely with my own opinions. See if you can find them all!

In kinda-sorta-alphabetical order:

17 Again (Steers)- Remember, kids- follow your dreams, or you’ll become Matthew Perry. [5]

24 City (Jia)- Sorry, Jia fanboys. He doesn’t excite me. Maybe next time… [6]

500 Days of Summer (Webb)- Half insightful relationship tale, half cutesy bullshit. Good enough for me. [6]

Adoration (Egoyan)- Second-tier Egoyan, but in his classic style. I’m down. [6]

Angels and Demons (Howard)- Outpaces Da Vinci by embracing its ridiculousness. Still not great. [5]

Away We Go (Mendes)- Genuine emotion can’t overcome condescending script. Schneider almost saves it. [5]

The Beaches of Agnes (Varda)- A doodle, but by now I’d say she’s entitled. [6]

The Brothers Bloom (Johnson)- RJ’s ear for patois impeccable in Lesteresque romp with soul. [8]

Brüno (Charles)- Sometimes funny, occasionally probing, but man, the gag’s wearing thin. [5]

Capitalism: A Love Story (Moore)- See Brüno mini-review, only even more so. [5]

Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs (Lord/Miller)- Hilarious with a chance of charming. Animated Mr. T FTW. [7]

Coraline (Selick)- Selick finds his way again. Dark stop-motion eye candy. [7]

Crank 2: High Voltage (Neveldine/Taylor)- “Statham makes England look ****ing awesome” ~ ZMF. In this, anyway. [7]

Disney’s A Christmas Carol (Zemeckis)- Zemeckis’ best motion-capture epic thusfar. Decidedly not for kids. [7]

District 9 (Blomkamp)- Imperfect, but miles better than a Halo movie would’ve been. [6]

Drag Me to Hell (Raimi)- Will stop at nothing to entertain you. I wholeheartedly approve. [7]

Duplicity (Gilroy)- Trouble in Paradise for cynical times. Stellar turns all around. [8]

Extract (Judge)- Kind of a lazy, downmarket SERIOUS MAN. Lacks flavor (sorry). [4]

Fados (Saura)- One to let wash over you. Click for review. [7]

Fantastic Mr. Fox (Anderson)- Just what you’d expect, but in the best sense. Hotbox! [9]

Funny People (Apatow)- Inconsistent, sometimes insightful. Still not taken with Serious Adam Sandler. Click for review. [5]

G-Force (Yeatman)- Muriel, Victoria & Charlotte could whup these CGI cavies’ asses. [4]

The Girlfriend Experience (Soderbergh) I’d hate to meet this dude in a dark alley. [6]

Gomorrah (Garrone)- Well-made, but eventually I just stopped giving a shit. [6]

Goodbye Solo (Bahrani)- Low-key friendship story mostly avoids cliché. Red West supercool. [7]

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Yates)- Mostly setup, thus kinda unsatisfying. #7 shows real potential though. [5]

The Headless Woman (Martel)- Fascinating enigma warrants second view, along with other Martel films. [7]

Hotel for Dogs (Freudenthal)- Clumsy, almost painfully square, but sunny and awfully good-natured. Click for review. [5]

Hunger (McQueen)- Less artsy stunt that I’d feared. Double-feature with Papillon. [7]

The Hurt Locker (Bigelow)- Only Beckham stuff holds this back from being a 10. [9]

In the Loop (Iannucci)- Deliciously salty as a big bag of pretzels. Cast awesome. [7]

The Informant! (Soderbergh)- “Man, I’d be invisible if it wasn’t for that thing.” [7]

Inglourious Basterds (Tarantino)- Watch first to marvel, then to relish. “It’s a bingo!!” [9]

Inkheart (Softley)- Decent family adventure, full of eminent thesps clearly enjoying themselves. [5]

Julia (Zonca)- Muriel FYC: Tilda Swinton. “Are ya shot?” Brilliant stuff. [8]

Land of the Lost (Silberling)- Obviously crap, but it’s so gleefully silly I hardly cared. [6]

The Limits of Control (Jarmusch)- Artsy slog, or poker-faced self-parody? Jarmusch ain’t telling. [6]

Lorna’s Silence (Dardenne bros.)- Dardennes: best bet in world cinema? They’re surely up there. Click for review. [9]

Monsters vs. Aliens (Letterman/Vernon)- Harmless, fairly amusing. Will inevitably see this a million times. [5]

Observe and Report (Hill)- Misanthropy curdles into sheer ugliness. Good thing it’s really funny. [7]

Paranormal Activity (Peli)- No Blair Witch, but effective LoFi horror all the same. [6]

Ponyo (Miyazaki)- Gorgeous, younger-skewing than most Miyazaki. Shame about the song. [7]

Public Enemies (Mann)- Solid, but please, Michael Mann- go back to film already. [6]

Revanche (Spielmann)- Trades action thrills for laser-like focus. Chop that log! [7]

A Serious Man (Coen bros.)- Compelling pieces, frustrating whole. Listless doormat protagonist. Coen naysayers right? [5]

Star Trek (Abrams)- My eyes are still reeling from the bright white bridge. Click for review. [6]

Sugar (Fleck/Boden)- More on its mind than baseball, usually to its benefit. [6]

Summer Hours (Assayas)- What he said re: Toy Story 2. Weep for furniture. [8]

Taking Woodstock (Lee)- Staunton’s arc made me want to punch something. Otherwise forgettable forgotten. [4]

Tetro (Coppola)- Operatic emotions, gorgeous style smooth over Freudian narrative. More, please. [8]

Three Monkeys (Ceylan)- All this ugliness gets stifling. NBC, you can do better. [5]

Tony Manero (Larrain)- Galling study of human train wreck, with Pinochet-era implications. [6]

Treeless Mountain (Kim)- Decent story of childhood hardship takes off in final third. [6]

Tulpan (Dvortsevoy)- Ethnographically awesome, otherwise pretty okay. So that’s a yurt. [6]

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Weitz)- Beats Twilight, that’s for sure. At least Weitz can direct. [5]

Two Lovers (Gray)- White Nights storyline still works. Come back, awesome actor Joaquin. [8]

Tyson (Toback)- Less enlightening than Toback seems to think it is. Pity. [5]

Up (Docter)- Still the filet of 2009. Cried at beginning, fer chrissakes. Click for review. [10]

Watchmen (Snyder)- “Meh” isn’t the emotion a Watchmen movie should warrant. Click for review. [5]

Whatever Works (Allen)- Allen/David pairing somehow not awesome. Wait- late Woody. Nevermind. [5]

Where the Wild Things Are (Jonze)- Bracing anarchy gives way to emo fuzzies. What gives, Spike? [6]

You, the Living (Andersson)- A Songs coda, but why complain? Andersson’s images still spectacular. [8]

Zombieland (Flesicher)- Prefab cult hit gets the job done. Guest cameo kills. [6]

Also, I’ll be maintaining a running tally of all the 2009 releases I’ve seen. The link can be found in the sidebar. On this page you’ll also see a list of movies which, for whatever reason, I haven’t managed to see yet. Some of them are still in theatres, others on DVD, and still others haven’t found their way to Central Ohio just yet. If you can hook me up with some of the harder-to-find titles, I’d be eternally grateful, so feel free to drop me a line.

Oh, and by the way- Famous Last Words kicks off again in January. So stick around a while, will ya?

It's the most wonderful time of the year...

As my regular readers (hi honey!) know, I’ve been a longtime devotee of the annual horror marathons that have been hosted here in Columbus at various venues by Bruce Bartoo, Joe Neff, or both. However, for the past few years, some of the magic has been lost due to the abbreviated schedule imposed on Bruce and Joe by their most recent overlords, the Drexel Theatres group. Running 12-14 hours rather than the traditional 24, the recent ‘thons have been fun, but there’s nothing quote like settling in for a whole day’s worth of horror. For one thing, the timeframe makes it something of a challenge, since it’s easier (at least for me) to prepare myself for the marathon beginning at noon than one starting at 10 PM, especially if it comes at the end of a long day’s activity.

But more importantly, the longer timeframe allows for a more diverse lineup of horror fare. For the past few years, the film lineups have felt somewhat thin, with a handful of area premieres and some classics, but precious few of the sort of curiosities that really make the Marathon special. And not only does a full 24-hour marathon give Bruce and Joe more time for extra-filmic goodies, but it also is much more appealing to the sorts of fan-favorite guests that graced the marathons of yore. Take this year’s guest…



None other than Mr. Stuart Bloody Gordon, ladies and gents. A marathon favorite and former guest at the ’92 marathon- which was before I came to Columbus, alas- Gordon will be coming back again this year to introduce a couple of his films as well as a title of his choosing (more on these later). Sadly, they won’t be playing his kerfawsome 2007 film Stuck, which I saw at its TIFF premiere, but that won’t stop me from asking him a question about it.



As I said before, two Gordon films will be playing here, the first being his cult favorite From Beyond, which I’ve never seen. However, I dig Re-Animator, and supposedly this throws off a Re-Animator vibe as well, so I figure I’ll be down with this too. The second Gordon film at the Marathon will be his Masters of Horror episode The Black Cat, to commemorate the 200th anniversary of Poe’s birth.



In addition to Gordon’s take on the story, Bruce and Joe have also booked a rare 35mm screening of Ulmer’s 1934 adaptation, starring icons Karloff and Lugosi. I can’t help but flash back to Lugosi ranting against Karloff in Ed Wood, which ought to make it extra fun.



Along with the two films he directed, Gordon was also offered a chance to select a film for this year’s marathon, and he chose the 2002 masterpiece Irreversible. Personally, I’m of two minds about this. On the one hand, I think it’s an inspired choice, and one that should jar most of the horror buffs in attendance out of their comfort zone. On the other hand, Angela will be attending again with me this year, and judging by her tastes in movies, I’m pretty sure this won’t be up her alley. She isn’t normally spooked by horror movies unless they deal in real-world kinds of situations, and I’d say this one qualifies. And if the content doesn’t get her, the style almost certainly will. So I’m thinking we may duck out for something to eat when this plays.



Another one we might forego for much the same reason is Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. Which is a pretty great movie to be sure, but I don’t necessarily think it needs to be seen on the big screen or anything.



On the other hand, I bet that as a lover of vampire fare, she’ll be all about Daughters of Darkness. And honestly, I’m pretty curious about it myself, not least for the lead performance by Delphine Seyrig. Seyrig has long been a favorite of mine, but I’m familiar with her mostly from her turns in more arthouse-friendly fare such as Jeanne Dielman and The Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie. So it’ll be interesting to see her in a part she can really sink her teeth into (sorry).



Another intriguing inclusion in the lineup is another Poe title, Corman’s Masque of the Red Death starring Vincent Price. I’m woefully underversed in both Corman and Price, so this should be fun. Right?



Along with Gordon and Poe, this year’s Marathon is also paying tribute to the late David Carradine this year, with a screening of his cult favorite Q: The Winged Serpent. Not having seen this before, I wouldn’t dare miss this one.



And under the heading of “curiosities” is this year’s selection Werewolf vs. the Vampire Woman. Should be better than Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, I’m guessing.



Given the hit-or-miss nature of the horror genre as a whole, Marathon premieres tend to be wildly inconsistent. However, this year’s premiere, I Sell the Dead, sounds pretty kind of okay. Besides, it’s got Ron Perlman, which at least puts it a head on the likes of, say, Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

One of the drawbacks of a 24-hour Marathon is that I’ve usually seen more of the titles than I have at the shorter ‘thons. This year’s Marathon is no exception, since along with Henry I’ve seen three of the other titles selected. However, they’re all pretty darn awesome, I think you’ll agree:







Of these, I’m naturally most excited about The Thing, especially the prospect of seeing it with a big Marathon crowd. However, The Host ought to be a blast as well, and I’m curious to see how well Day of the Dead.

So if you’re interested (and local), don’t be afraid- come to the Horror Marathon, which is being held from noon on Saturday, 17 October, through noon-ish the next day at the newly refurbished and under-new-management Grandview Theatre. Tickets are $35 in advance and $40 at the door. More information can be found at the Marathon web site . Hope to see you there.

Because it seems that I just can't accomplish anything without it involving ticking items off a long list...

Ever since I moved at the end of June, I haven’t felt much of a desire to keep this blog updated, aside from the weekly Famous Last Words quote and a few other fluke posts. Honestly, I think most of this can be traced back to my days at Screengrab, when I had to grind out 7 to 10 posts a week so that the money kept coming in. Now that I’m no longer doing that kind of mercenary work, I find that my hunger to keep writing has waned quite a bit. And now that living with Angela and the Offspring has required me to become much more domesticated than ever before, I don’t necessarily have the energy to spend my precious free time trying to keep up my writing. As a result, the promised reviews of Criterion DVDs and Reviews By Request columns will have to go on the back burner.

However, there’s hope. In the past, I’ve found that I can rejuvenate my own writing mojo by immersing myself in the writings of others. Of course, being the type of person I am I can’t just make a promise to myself to read more, since my free time is at a premium and if I don’t set myself a tangible goal I’ll most likely spend all of that precious free time watching movies instead of spending some of it on books. But what to read?

Some months ago, I was looking at a list of Nobel Laureates in Literature, and I noticed how few of them I had actually read. As a humanities major and fairly well-rounded guy, I consider myself to be sort of knowledgeable when it comes to literature and such, but I’ve never heard of the majority of the Nobel winners, and I’ve read even fewer (19, to be precise). Here’s the full list of winners, with the ones I’ve read in boldface:

2008 – J.M.G. Le Clézio
2007 – Doris Lessing
2006 – Orhan Pamuk
2005 – Harold Pinter
2004 – Elfriede Jelinek
2003 – J.M. Coetzee
2002 – Imre Kertész
2001 – V.S. Naipaul
2000 – Gao Xingjian
1999 – Günter Grass
1998 – José Saramago
1997 – Dario Fo
1996 – Wisława Szymborska
1995 – Seamus Heaney
1994 – Kenzaburo Oe
1993 – Toni Morrison
1992 – Derek Walcott
1991 – Nadine Gordimer
1990 – Octavio Paz
1989 – Camilo José Cela
1988 – Naguib Mahfouz
1987 – Joseph Brodsky
1986 – Wole Soyinka
1985 – Claude Simon
1984 – Jaroslav Siefert
1983 – William Golding
1982 – Gabriel Garcia Márquez
1981 – Elias Canetti
1980 – Czesław Miłosz
1979 – Odysseas Elytis
1978 – Isaac Bashevis Singer
1977 – Vicente Aleixandre
1976 – Saul Bellow
1975 – Eugenio Montale
1974 – Eyvind Johnson
1974 – Harry Martinson
1973 – Patrick White
1972 – Heinrich Böll
1971 – Pablo Neruda
1970 – Alekdandr Solzhenitsyn
1969 – Samuel Beckett
1968 – Yasumari Kawabata
1967 – Miguel Ángel Asturias
1966 – Shmuel Yosef Agnon
1966 – Nelly Sachs
1965 – Mikhail Sholokhov
1964 – Jean-Paul Sartre
1963 – Giorgos Seferis
1962 – John Steinbeck
1961 – Ivo Andrić
1960 – Saint-John Perse
1959 – Salvatore Quasimodo
1958 – Boris Pasternak
1957 – Albert Camus
1956 – John Ramón Jiménez
1955 – Halldór Laxness
1954 – Ernest Hemingway
1953 – Winston Churchill
1952 – François Mauriac
1951 – Pär Lagerkvist
1950 – Bertrand Russell
1949 – William Faulkner
1948 – T.S. Eliot
1947 – André Gide
1946 – Hermann Hesse
1945 – Gabriela Mistral
1944 – Johannes V. Jensen
1940-1943 – Not awarded
1939 – Frans Eemil Sillanpää
1938 – Pearl S. Buck
1937 – Roger Martin du Gard
1936 – Eugene O’Neill
1935 – Not awarded
1934 – Luigi Pirandello
1933 – Ivan Bunin
1932 – John Galsworthy
1931 – Erik Alex Karlfeldt
1930 – Sinclair Lewis
1929 – Thomas Mann
1928 – Sigrid Undset
1927 – Henri Bergson
1926 – Grazia Deledda
1925 – George Bernard Shaw
1924 – Wladyslaw Reymont
1923 – William Butler Yeats
1922 – Jacinto Benavente
1921 – Anatole France
1920 – Knut Hamsun
1919 – Carl Spitteler
1918 – Not awarded
1917 – Karl Adolph Gjellerup
1917 – Henrik Pontoppidan
1916 – Verner von Heidenstam
1915 – Romain Rolland
1914 – Not awarded
1913 – Rabindranath Tagore
1912 – Gerhart Hauptmann
1911 – Maurice Maeterlinck
1910 – Paul Heyse
1909 – Selma Lagerlöf
1908 – Rudolf Christoph Eucken
1907 – Rudyard Kipling
1906 – Giosuè Carducci
1905 – Henryk Sienkiewicz
1904 – José Echegaray
1904 – Frédéric Mistral
1903 – Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson
1902 – Theodor Mommsen
1901 – Sully Prudhomme

Now, I realize that there are a few all-time greats that I’ve somehow missed over the years- my excuse for never having read Pinter and Pirandello is that given the choice I’d rather see dramatic works performed rather than read them, but I don’t really have an excuse for missing out on Garcia Marquez and Lewis. However, when it comes to the majority of the winners, I’m hardly alone in thinking them fairly obscure (even the far-better-read-than-I Victor Morton believes this to be the case). So being the unreformed list junkie that I am, I settled upon the idea of reading a work by every Nobel Laureate in Literature, and write at least a little something about each one.

One thing that drew me to this idea was the same driving force that was behind my old Yesterday’s Hits columns- the idea of the Nobel as a snapshot of the time in which it was given. For example, in its early years, the impetus behind the literature Nobel wasn’t merely excellence in writing but pushing the literary art “in an ideal direction,” which allegedly swayed the voters away from recognizing the era’s more pessimistic writers. Likewise, recent years have seen an upswing in winners from Third World nations, along with non-white and female Laureates.

And all the while, the Swedish Academy has maintained (and even admitted to) a bias against American literature, to the point where such greats as Tennessee Williams, Arthur Miller, Kurt Vonnegut, Flannery O’Connor, and Tom Wolfe- to say nothing of genre masters like Raymond Chandler- have been snubbed. I suppose that what I’m really curious about is whether winners like Sully Prudhomme, Dario Fo, and Winston Churchill (yes, really) are legitimately great writers whose work hasn’t been widely embraced by the literary establishment at large. Because if you’re going to give out the world’s most prestigious literary honor and not recognize such canonically awesome figures as Joyce, Proust, Nabokov, Ibsen, and Wodehouse, I want to know why.

Of course, an undertaking like this comes with a few conditions:

1. I plan to read at least one work by each writer, if possible in the medium in which he is most celebrated. For example, if writer X is primarily known as a playwright, I’ll read one of his plays. In doing so, I think I’ll be able to find a work that represents him well enough to get a taste of his overall importance. At least, that’s my hope.

2. If the writer is best known for poetry, I’ll read a substantial number of poems, especially if they’re short. I’d say fifty pages’ worth at least.

3. If I’ve already read something by a writer, I will choose a work that I haven’t read.

4. Don’t be surprised if I choose works that were later adapted into movies, especially if they’re movies I really like. For example, my choice of a Sinclair Lewis book will almost certainly be Dodsworth, not least because I think Dodsworth is one of the greatest movies ever made and that every lover of film owes it to himself to watch it. But more to the point, I think that having seen the film, I’ll be able to get past the plot of the book so that I can better appreciate the style of writing and the way that Lewis unfolds the tale.

5. If some of these works just don’t do it for me, I’m giving myself the option of checking out after 100 pages. I figure that’s ample opportunity for an author to show me if he or she has “got it.” I don’t plan on doing this very often, but let’s face it- when you’re dealing with more than a hundred works of literature, odds are good that at least a handful of them will be fairly tedious or just, you know, not my thing.

Right now, the plan is to start with the most recent winner and progress in reverse chronological order. The reason for this is primarily logistical, since although the local library systems carry almost all of the recent winners, the selection of early winners is much sparser, so I’ll take the time I’ve got to make arrangements to get my hands on their works.

The project will commence officially within the next week, when I pick up the copy of le Clézio’s The Interrogation I put on reserve. I’m considering starting up a new blog just for the purpose of this project, and I’ll link to it should that come to pass. I can’t say how long this project will take- I imagine that at least one more laureate will be recognized before it’s all said and done- but I hope to keep it up as long as it takes. And maybe, just maybe, somewhere along the way I’ll discover some more great writers whose work I’ll pursue further in the future.

Any suggestions you might have for the project would be appreciated, of course. If you’ve read some of the authors I haven’t, which works would you recommend? And how would I go about finding the more obscure winners? As usual, the comments section is open for you to provide input, or even to wish me luck. And who knows? My wacky adventures in lit-blogging could very well result in a Nora Ephron movie about the magic of reading, possibly starring Daniel Day-Lewis as Alfred Nobel, Seth Rogen as me, and perhaps even a cameo by John Mahoney as William Faulkner. Stay tuned for more details...

Muriels: An Announcement

Good evening, everyone. I hope you’re all enjoying this countdown to tonight’s announcement of the winner of this year’s final Muriel Award, the Golden Muriel for Best Picture. But before we announce the 2008 “nominees,” I’ve got an announcement.

Effective tonight, following the final awards announcement, I will be stepping down as the administrator of the Muriel Awards, because of personal reasons.

Now, before you get worried, let me assure you that everything is fine with me. I’m happy in my personal relationships (especially with my lovely girlfriend), and I consider myself fortunate to be in a relatively stable job.

The issue is one of time. Namely, I don’t have a whole lot of it. At the beginning of January, I began taking college courses again, in the hope of getting a better education in business. I suppose the idealist in me hopes to be part of the solution to our current economic crisis rather than part of the problem. So now, between my current full-time job, the paid writing I do for Screengrab, my studies, the occasional trip to the movies, and of course Angela, my schedule is tight enough. But the demands required to run the Muriels are time-consuming, and I just don’t have the time to continue to do it.

But have no fear- I’ve been grooming a successor all lined up. Beginning this upcoming year, the Muriels head honcho will be none other than my old pal Steven Carlson. Ever since we ruminated on the idea of starting up some online movie awards over dinner between sections of Out 1 back in December 2006, I’ve considered Steven to be a valuable member of the Muriels voting body. This year, Steven has graciously volunteered his time and efforts to help with the official site, and next year he’ll be running the show. I’m confident that in his hands the Muriels will continue to be a force for good in the sometimes dicey world of online film criticism.

So to all you Muriels voters, whether it’s your first year or you’ve been with us from the beginning, I’d like to thank you for your participation in the Muriels. Without each of you, none of this would have been possible. Whether you’ve contributed written pieces, designed images, plugged the Muriels on your sites, or simply voted, your participation has allowed this to become what it is today. I appreciate everything you’ve done for the Muriels and for me, and I hope you will extend Steven the same courtesy next year.

Next year, I’ll continue to be involved in the Muriels, but as a voter and, as needed, an advisor to Steven and the others in charge. Until then, I hope you all will stay in touch with me, whether it’s here, on Screengrab, on Twitter, or via e-Mail. I look forward to seeing what the future has in store for the Muriels, and I’m proud I could have played some part in it.

For those who are still hanging around...

I was just poking around the Web today when I realized that it’s been almost a month since I last updated this thing. All I can say is that I’ve been swamped with work lately, and with the Muriels coming up it’s only going to get business. But until I have time to write a proper post, I just thought I’d let you know that I’m still thinking about you. For the time being, I’ll link to my new reviews of The Wrestler, Revolutionary Road, and, erm… Hotel For Dogs. My viewing of the latter was occasioned by the Martin Luther King, Jr., Day holiday, when Angela had to work but I didn’t, so I got to keep an eye on the Offspring. As far as “Drag-Along Specials” go, Hotel For Dogs was the best one so far, although it’s not hard to top Star Wars: The Clone Wars or Beverly Hills Chihuahua.

Also, a note on the ratings. If you read the reviews, you may notice that I’ve given the same rating to Revolutionary Road and Hotel for Dogs (sorry Jason). Now, by no objective yardstick is Hotel for Dogs the aesthetic or artistic equal of Mendes’ film. On the other hand, I don’t think the two really deserve to be compared against each other. Whenever I rate a movie, I ask two questions: (1) what are the filmmakers setting out to do, and (2) how well did it work for me on those terms? Admittedly, Hotel for Dogs lacks the ambition of Revolutionary Road, but what it does, it does pretty okay. Whether you’re down with what it does is another question entirely. Personally, I don’t know if I’d recommend seeing it alone, but if the kids want to go it’s worth the trip.

Where I've Been

I just realized it’s been more than two weeks since I last updated this thing, which despite my agenda generally being packed is practically unprecedented for me. Anyway, here I am, alive and well, and busy as ever. Besides work and Screengrab, I’ve been spending plenty of time with Angela, which of course has been great. I even went to the Ohio Renaissance Festival with her and her child (henceforth to be known as The Offspring), wearing a costume she made for me. I’ll spare you the photos for the time being, but I had a great time. Lots of fun to be had, even if the place was swarming with jerks who took every opportunity to gawk at those who actually dressed for the festivities (what did they think it was, the county fair?). Still, I enjoyed myself, and if nothing else I’ll take away the memory of The Offspring, in deep concentration while playing the Diabolo I bought as a gift.

In addition, Angela and I (sans Offspring this time) spent much of this past weekend together. Attended my first hockey game on Friday night, with OSU taking on Lake Superior St. OSU lost, but still a good time. One thing that isn’t conveyed on televised games is how fast the players move. I’ve always been hopeless on ice skates, so I’m sort of in awe of how they bolted all over the ice like it was no big deal. But then, they’ve probably been doing it all their lives, so I’m guessing it wasn’t a big deal. Anyway, between this, a long nostalgic discussion I had last week about the NBA of my youth, and my recently re-emerging interest in Major League Baseball, I suppose I’m less of an anti-sports curmudgeon than I’d previously thought. Although I still couldn't care less about football.

And Saturday night Angela and I took in the Horror Marathon. Wasn’t sure she’d be down with it, but I think she enjoyed it at least as much as I did, although it didn’t look like she got into Meet the Feebles as much as I. Alas, we had to bail before it was over, a sad side effect of our having to work regular 9-to-5 hours during the week. You might say I’ve gotten assimilated.

In short, my girlfriend rocks. Need more proof? She loved Lawrence of Arabia when we saw it in 70mm a few weekends back.

Somewhere in the middle of my busy schedule, I also found time to catch some new releases and review them for your enjoyment and edification. Click on the titles for my posts on W., Let the Right One In (shown at the Marathon), Miracle at St. Anna, Choke, and I Served the King of England.

Horror Marathon 2008 Lineup

October will upon us within the week, and soon enough will come this year's Horror Marathon at the Drexel Theatre. As always, I'm planning to go this year, although unlike previous years I may not be going alone. Of course, her interest in going will depend on her reaction to the following recently-announced lineup. Let's see what awaits us:

We'll start off with the classics, beginning with this old-school Wes Craven movie that I've yet to see. I imagine many of the Marathoners will have caught this numerous times, so it might not have the proper effect on me, what with the MST3K-ing and peanut gallery contributions. Still, should be a good time.

I was recently telling some buds that I've only seen one Mario Bava film, and since that movie is Planet of the Vampires, I'm not sure it really counts. But this movie should help me start boning up on my non-Argento giallo.

Now, this one I HAVE seen, and while it's not exactly my favorite Carpenter, I do enjoy the way he basically manufactured a horror movie out of little more than a smoke machine and some creepily-attired extras.

This one might be the deal breaker for Angela, given its brutal rep. I don't usually go for really violent exploitation stuff either, so we might duck out on it depending on where it's positioned on the program.

Another one I've seen, and while I'm not sure it belongs on a horror program, it should be fun to watch with this crowd. I can only imagine Angela's expression when I start singing along to the "Sodomy" number.

Finally, the two area premieres, both of which are pretty well-regarded, especially compared to some of the premieres they've screened in the past. Mandy Lane has become something of a cause celebre among horror buffs, given how it's been postponed and buried by its distributor. However, I'm even more curious about Let the Right One In, which is allegedly being remade by Hollywood in the near future. Then again, so was The Grudge, and that didn't exactly stop that one from sucking.

The Fifth Annual Incredible Two-Headed Marathon will be held from Saturday, October 18 until Sunday, October 19 at the Drexel East. Tickets are now on sale.

There's a Rainbow in Toronto...

... Unfortunately, I won't be following it this year.

There are several reasons for this. The first, of course, is money. Last year's trip was expensive, and I'm not sure I could afford it again without some serious scaling back in a lot of other areas. Between the cost of travel, lodging, and incidentals, to say nothing of the movies themselves, it was somewhat unrealistic of me to expect to return on a yearly basis in my current situation.

In addition, I'm currently planning some changes in my life starting this fall. I can't go into detail quite yet, except to say that they'll take up quite a bit of my time and would most likely make TIFFing unfeasible. But don't worry, it's nothing bad.

I'd be lying if I was to say I wouldn't miss it. Even though first year was my first TIFF experience, it was probably the best vacation I've taken in my life, and I met a lot of great people up there. I'd love to go again given the chance, but it'll just have to wait for now.

But don't feel too bad. Instead of the Toronto trip, I'll be making some smaller excursions this year. For example, I'm looking forward to taking Angela up to Cleveland for her birthday to see Radiohead. It's not the massive event TIFF is by any means, but it's just as special in its way- perhaps more so.

Enjoy Toronto, TIFF pals. I'll be with you in spirit this year. Until we meet again...

Good news for everyone who's sick of the James Taylor video

Morning, folks! Did you miss me? I’m sure you’ve all wondered what I’ve been up to lately that was more important than posting here. Truth is, I haven’t been myself lately. I couldn’t put my finger on what was wrong until yesterday, when I remembered that I hadn’t bought a DVD in over a month. Obviously, that really isn’t like me, so I promptly remedied the situation by running out and purchasing this:


I know- it’s not the kind of thing I usually go for. But there was actually a reason for this purchase. I’m not a huge fan of it myself, but it was a gift for my girlfriend and her son.

Yup. As Albert Brooks said in Broadcast News, “How do you like that? I buried the lead.”

Yes, recently I’ve found myself in a wonderful relationship with a lovely woman named Angela. It’s been too damn long since I’ve been this happy, either with myself or someone else. So I hope you’ll forgive me for being delinquent in my duties on this blog. Between Angela and work and Screengrab and Angela’s son and keeping up with new movies and Angela, something’s got to give. But I’m great, in case you’ve been worried. Pretty damn great, actually.

Moving on to other DVD news that you probably already knew about, here are the newly-announced Criterions for August:

First off is a new pressing of Salo, for the benefit of those of us who missed the three-hour window for it the first time around and couldn’t make it to the local indie video store before some punk decided to steal their copy. Not that I’m bitter or anything.

Continuing Criterion’s commitment to the Archers, here’s probably the best-known Powell/Pressburger film I haven’t yet seen. I love these guys (though certainly not as much as Donna) so I’m stoked to get a chance to finally see this one.

This one’s new to me, but I’m sure I’ll rent it. Hell, since it’s Criterion I’ll give it a spin on general principle.

This may be the most intriguing of all the August releases. I wasn’t a big fan of the movie, but it should be worth the price simply for the dazzling array of announced narration tracks- Isabella Rossellini, Crispin Glover, Eli Wallach, Laurie Anderson, and more.

Finally, the best Criterion-related news I’ve gotten lately is this month’s animated riddle. A month after I wished Max Ophüls would finally get some Criterion love, I found this in my e-Mail:

Ask and ye shall receive in my opinion. Now maybe they can get around to releasing some high-quality versions of Jacques Rivette films. Hint, hint.

That’s all there is for now. I’ll do my best to keep this regularly updated in the future, but I make no promises. Please try to understand.