Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Flag-waving schedule monkees

- Pet peeve du jour #1: improperly displayed American flags. OK, I can understand wanting to put a flag out in front of your business. Support our troops and all that. And if you have a flagpole installed, it would look dumb NOT to have a flag out. But if you want to be patriotic, you can't just hang a flag and leave it indefinitely. As I recall from my Scouting days, there are certain rules that are to be followed when displaying a flag. First, the flag is to be lowered after dark, unless you have a spotlight. Second, if it's raining/snowing/sleeting, the flag should be taken down. Third, the flag is not to be flown half-mast without a special decree by the President. Now, I might have missed the memo, but I always thought that flying the American flag meant that these rules were to be followed, but I guess nobody cares anymore. Least of all the owner of the business I passed on the way home from work the other night, who was flying the flag after dark, unlit, in the rain, at half-mast. I've got a salute for you, buddy, but I don't think you'll care for it much.

- Pet peeve du jour #2: it happens at least once on every weekday at the theatre that I'll get a customer who insists that the showtimes I've displayed on our box office marquee are incorrect. "But the paper said 12:30, not 1:45, the paper said so," he'll protest, almost always with a snotty, superior look on his face. I invariably counter with a question- "did you look in today's paper?" This is often followed by a few seconds of silence, then a sheepish "no, I looked in Sunday's... you mean you changed them?" Yes jackass, we changed them, I think but do not say. Why should it be such a shock that we change showtimes between the weekend and the weekdays? Why run a full-tilt afternoon schedule when most of the audience is either (a) at school, or (b) at work? And honestly, why would you look at the Sunday's paper for showtimes for any day other than Sunday? Would you check Sunday's paper for Tuesday's weather? I thought not. Think, people. It ain't hard, if you put forth a little effort.

- Had a weird dream the other night about something that might have made for a crazy awesome cult movie, but it's impossible now, methinks. The pitch: The Monkees meet THE OMEGA MAN. The basic story takes place half a decade or so after HEAD, when the Monkees have split up and the four band members are doing their own thing. Meanwhile, the roving hippie/pinko baddies from OMEGA MAN are beginning to terrorize LA. One day, Davey gets a brainstorm to have a one-night-only reunion special on TV, and calls the other guys, who are up for it, although Mike takes some convincing. Anyway, they're in the studio, planning and rehearsing for the special, but Davey gets kidnapped by the OMEGA MAN dudes and taken back to their hideaway to be indoctrinated into the group. So the other three go searching for him. Groovy, hallucinatory shenanigans ensue. A lot of the details of the dream are fuzzy, but I distinctly remember them chasing up and down lots of stairwells, and also some swooping camera shots as the boys rush through streets while riots are going on. Also, there's a harp solo for Peter, probably because he was the most musical one in real life (there always seems to be a harp solo in my cinematically-styled dreams- must be all the Marx brothers I've watched). What really struck me about this dream is that, reunion story and rioting aside, this almost could have worked as a real episode of THE MONKEES. I don't know if I could have taken this story when I was a kid though- it's a little heavy for children. Still, am I weird for dreaming about The Monkees?

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